Suicidal // Austin Mahone {DISCONTINUED}

two

I groan as the alarm goes off. I really need to get a new one, this one's fucking annoying.
Beside me, another body stirs and for a moment I'm disoriented, confused as to where I am. Then I remember falling asleep in Alex's room.
Alex yawns and sits up, scratching his head. When he sees me, he smiles.
"Morning Laney."
I smile. I've always loved that nickname. Alex gave it to me when I was 6 and he was 8. It's stuck ever since.
"I should probably-" I pause in the middle to yawn "get ready for school."
Alex smiles but it immediately turns into a frown as he assesses my cheek.
"Laney your cheek. It's red- it's- I- Laney- it's swollen and-" I cut him off by walking over to the small mirror, gently caressing my cheek. Sure enough, there was an ugly, red mark on my right side and a mark shaped like a handprint.
"Nothing some makeup can't fix," I whisper to myself.
"I'm heading to my room now to get dressed," I smile a fake smile at Alex. I haven't actually smiled a real smile in 8 years.
Alex smiles at me and I start getting ready for another terrible day at school.
{•••••••••••••}
One and a half hours later, I'm walking inside the building in my sweater (the only thing I've worn for the past 2 years was long sleeves), high-waisted shorts, and sandals. My hair was perfectly straightened and my makeup done light, but nicely.
I honestly don't know why I try anymore though. It's not like anyone would notice me other than throwing a couple mean words at me every now and then.
Keeping my head down low, I shuffled into the building, praying I would go unnoticed. And it worked great. For the first two minutes.
I had just spotted Austin- who was Alex's best friend and the only person besides Alex who was actually nice to me- and was making my way towards him, when I was stopped by Kimmy, the most popular girl in school.
She pushed me and pretended to stumble.
"OMG! LANETTE! WATCH WHERE YOUR FAT ASS IS GOING. UGH. YOU MADE ME TRIP. YOU KNOW HOW DIRTY THE GROUND IS?! I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL NOT HESITATE TO KILL YOU IF YOU PUSH ME ONE MORE TIME. YOU'RE JUST A WASTE OF SPACE. IF YOU WEREN'T HERE, PEOPLE WOULDN'T HAVE TO PUSH PAST YOUR RETARDED FATNESS IN THE HALLWAYS. NOW GET OUT OF MY FACE, SLUT!" And with that, she was gone.
I let out a breath. That was probably the best thing she's done so far. Usually she calls me endless names and beats me. That was almost bearable.
I sigh and quickly look around, making sure Austin or Alex didn't witness that. You see, Alex knows about the beatings my father gives me, but he thinks that's it. He thinks that everything's okay at school. Don't get me wrong- he knows I don't really have friends, but he thinks it's just because I don't want any. Yeah right. Who doesn't want friends?
Now Austin- he doesn't know shit. Alex and I both keep the beatings my father gives me away from Austin. He also doesn't know I get beat up at school, too.
And none of them know I self harm. Sometimes I want to tell Alex because I love him, but I can't. If I did, Alex would flip out and make me flush them all.
I can't do that. The razors are my only friends.
I snap out of my thoughts when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around, finding Austin smiling at me.
"Lanes!" He greets me, engulfing me in one of his warm hugs.
I close my eyes, smiling and inhaling his scent. I always felt safe around him. Especially because he was tough, so no one dared even look at me when I was with him.
I hugged him back.
"Hi Austin," I whisper.
"How's my favorite sophomore doing?" I chuckle, blushing a little at that. I've liked him more than a friend since 7th grade. When he sang to me for the first time.
"Im okay. How's my favorite junior doing?"
Just as he's about to reply, Alex comes up behind us and fake pouts.
"Hey! I thought I was your favorite junior!"
I giggle and poke the side of his cheek, which makes him laugh as well.
"Oh c'mon. You know I love you both!" I exclaim, making my point.
They both nod and we all head to the East Wing, which was where most of the classes were at.
I get to my homeroom, which is right under theirs- the freshman and sophomore homerooms were located on the first floor, and the junior and senior homerooms were on the second.
"Bye Laney! See you after school!" Alex says, before hugging me.
"Don't forget- we're taking my car today, not Alex's!" Austin chimes in, hugging me as well.
I laugh and wave goodbye to them, before stepping into my homeroom.
But of course, as soon as I step in, everyone hisses at me.
"Oh my god she's such a bitch."
"Look at those clothes. Skank alert!"
"Ew no one wants you here!"
And of course my favorite; "You're just a fatass, waste of space. Go do us a favor and kill yourself before we do."
I keep my head down. This has been going on for 5 years and it still hurts. God why am I so stupid and weak?! I hate myself.
{•••••••••••••}
The rest of the day passes quickly, and before I knew it, it was already last period.
I was walking through Wicked Hallway (which was what the students named it because it was creepy and all the math rooms were located in this hallway), when someone slapped a hand over my mouth.
"Don't. Move." The voice hissed. It was one of the jocks. Of course.
They dragged me out the back door, which was the very small and located right at the end of Wicked Hallway.
With two jocks suspending me (one holding my left arm, the other holding the right), Kimmy and her crew (which I called The Poptarts, because it reminded me of the word Popular, which was exactly what she was) walked up to me.
"Well, well, well..." She trailed off. I tried screaming, but I forgot someone was covering my mouth. I but it, which caused the jock covering it to yelp in pain.
That earned me a very hard kick to the gut.
I groaned, and that's when it began.
The pain and the tears made it fuzzy, but I vaguely remember The Poptarts kicking me, punching me, pulling my hair, and basically just physically abusing me in every way. God, life sucked.
After about a good 15 minutes, they were done.
And just like that, they vanished. They ran to class and left me here, alone.
About 45 minutes before school ended, I finally got up an ran as fast as I could to the lockers.
I quickly scrawled a note to Austin, saying I left school early because I felt sick, and that he and Alex should just go home.
I then sprinted back to my house (which was luckily 5 minutes away), and immediately found my razor.
I took it and slashed it across my skin. I placed it atop my wrist and put pressure on it as I moved it across my wrist, drawing blood.
I did this until both my arms were full of cuts and blood.
I then knew what I had to do.
Without thinking, I grabbed my Minnie Mouse notebook and purple pen. I wrote a long letter for the boys. It took up 3 pages.
When I was done, I tore it out of my notebook and placed it on my bed.
Shakily, I grabbed the keys to my moped and was out of the house in ten seconds.

| Austin's POV |

We arrived at Alex's place 10 minutes after school ended.
I killed the engine to my Range Rover, and we made our way inside.
Closing the door behind us, Alex threw his backpack down on the couch and yelled
"LANEY! WE'RE HOME! WE GOT YOUR NOTE- ARE YOU OKAY? DO YOU WANT US TO GET YOU ANYTHING?"
Silence.
"HELLO?" I tried.
No answer. Huh.
We went up to her room and Alex knocked on her door.
"Maybe she's asleep?" I suggested, when she didn't answer.
Softly, as to not wake her up, Alex opened the door and we both glances inside. It was empty.
"What the...?"
We went inside, looking around for her. I went to check her bathroom while Alex walked up to her bed.
While I was moving back the shower curtain, I heard Alex scream.
"Bro! What is it?!" I say, rushing back into her room.
Alex didn't speak. He just stood frozen, grasping some papers.
I snatched them out of his hand and started skimming them. At first I thought it was a letter.
But with each word I read, my eyes grew wider. This was a letter for sure. But not just any letter.
It was a suicide letter.