i challenge those of you reading to actually find my song. :)
this song is split into two parts.
the first half of the song (love poem) sounds extremely happy and upbeat; later on, when the beat enters, it's heavy on the bass drum, which gives it a hopeful sound. looking into the lyrics, it's intended to represent my past therapy. "take a deep breath/ take a seat, settle down love/ no need to worry anymore/ trust in the things i say/ i promise you'll be okay." when i was still in therapy, it was a lot of, "you can do it, you'll get through, keep trying", which is obviously the point of therapy, right? further into the lyrics: "you won't ever have to ask why/ you gotta know that these things take time/ i know that you'll be okay/ nothing's gonna stand in your way." it's an oversaturated amount of hope that, when i was going through therapy, i hated; in hindsight, i appreciate it a lot.
in the transition between love poem and the second half of the song (the angel), the spoken words are, "roses are red, and violets are blue." in the audio, my voice is heavily saturated in reverb and echo, almost like it's a dream. because of my past, i have trouble having good dreams anymore; i only ever have nightmares and sleepless nights. those eight bars are a little bit of my artistic anger showing through; i added it in to represent my nightmares, and the mockery that they make of my sleep. my nightmares often have bad people in them, and they do "good things" to mock me.
the second half of the song (the angel) is supposed sound like a twisted lullaby. it sounds really nice and peaceful, but the lyrics are more fearful than dream-like. "i know you're real/ doesn't mean i want it so/ i sure won't heal/ maybe you will though/ have you any sympathy/ for what you've done/ will you pin it all on me/ 'it was just a little fun'." to explain any of what these lyrics mean, you'd have to look into suits on my main account, the chapter titled i want you to know these things. if you wanted to stretch farther than that, you'd have to somehow resurrect poetic diamonds, chapters titled alphabet lover and alphabet killer. this half of the song is actually a full song of mine; still unpublished and waiting to become a reality. there are more lyrics that, in the future, i may end up posting. the angel builds off of the first half in the way that even though i went through therapy, i actually ended up lying my way out of it, because even when i wasn't fine, i said i was. this half of the song is what i was really feeling; what none of the world actually saw.
the symbolism reaches farther than the song itself. in garageband, when you prepare to publish a piece through soundcloud, you're given the option to provide an artist name, composer name and album name. the artist and composer names are the same; same old araelius, which is the name that i write under. however, the album name that i used this time around was unauthorized haloes. in reference to the love poem, it's more of my artistic anger coming through, in saying that when i went through therapy, i felt that my therapist didn't really understand me, and therefore couldn't really say that they helped me in any way. (this is untrue. i set myself up to fail in lying about how i felt.) in reference to the angel, again, it comes back to suits - i want you to know these things, but the person i write about in that chapter went by their name, and "angel" as their last name. the way that they hurt me would prove them to be quite the opposite of an angel; thus, they are wearing an unauthorized halo.
