Love at Sail - Camila/You

13 - still

AN: hi.

{Camila's POV} 

"Why don't we...take this to our room?" I slyly whispered into Y/N's ear. 

Y/N shifted a bit uncomfortably after hearing my remark as if there and then, she realized something. I slipped back down as my back embraced the steel fence that encased the basketball court, feeling embarrassed for taking a chance. 

"I'm sorry." She muttered, releasing her hand from mine. 

Bringing her knees together, she looked off away from me. Suddenly, she looked closed off. The words "Always and forever" seemed distant in that moment and I lost all thought of what to do. 

"Everything has been coming so fast. Meeting you, meeting all these new people, meeting old acquaintances. Camila, there is no doubt that I have feelings for you. But I can't lose myself into you right now." She looked back at me with her eyes trying to search for something in mine. 

I looked away. 

"So the past few days...nothing? They're nothing?" There was a slight bark in my words. I was taken aback by how quickly Y/N turned the situation. 

She reached for my hand, but I immediately pulled back. 

"That's not it." Y/N assured, to no avail. 

I stood up, quickly, looking straight into her eyes. I clenched my fists as did she, both for different reasons. Holding back words left unspoken? Frustration that could not be expressed? 

"Yeah? Tell me then. What exactly is it?" I was angry now. 

There was a wistful silence. A few moments later, she quietly stood up only to meet my indignant gaze. Still silence. I stared as she took steps, one by one, each slower than the other towards me. I was scared. I was scared that she was right. That the pace that everything was moving at was all too fast, and we lacked the patience to understand it all. As she wrapped her arms around me, my entirety caving into this what should have been, warm embrace. But, it was cold. The air ferociously moved against us and after a long time, time felt frozen again. 

{Your POV}

The morning soon had arisen, but I lay ever so still, on a bed that did not belong to me as the sun ate the shadows that were hanging onto my body. The sun felt too hot then. Shouldn't it have felt warm? A nice warm. A type of warm that authors like to describe in a romantic scene, in a romantic novel. 

"Get up dork." I heard. 

I looked over to see Tori waving a towel over my head, signaling it was time for me to get ready. Groggily, I got up and flopped on the other bed with my chin on the blanket. 

"Still?" Tori questioned, obviously worried. 

"Still." I replied. 

"You know Y/N...for so-called 'friends', you sure treat her differently  still." Tori lay flat on her back next to me on the bed, looking at me now. 

I rolled my eyes, taking the towel from her hand. 

"If that's what it takes you to get ready!" She joyously yelled as I slammed the bathroom door on her face. 

The cruise was soon ending, and I was running out of time with Camila. Ever since that day that I took a step back from us, it's been ten times harder to get back out. I know that even though we laugh and make jokes, she'll have her walls high up because of what I did. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret it. If I have to endure this frozen period, to achieve a successful relationship with her, then I am all for it. 

My showers were often long. It was a place where I could think, but I stopped myself short this time and got out soon after I got in. After combing my hair and everything else, I looked fixedly at Tori's closet. Well, which I claimed mine. Along with the rest of the room for the time being. A cropped long sleeve, fitted jeans with a belt, and black ankle boots did me well for the day. 

Tori was nowhere in sight which I figured, since there was no music playing while I was getting ready. I left the room and headed for the elevator where I was greeted by one of Camila's friends. 

"Hey." He said. 

"Hi." I replied, sneaking into the shaft. I looked over at the buttons where the floors were labeled and noticed we were going to the same floor. 

"Shawn, right?" I questioned. 

"Some people like to call me 'boy next door', but yeah Shawn works too." He replied with a small smile. 

Crossing his arms, he leaned back against the elevator wall. Soon, he began to hum to a typical elevator tune. He had some singing chops if we're being honest here. Heck, if I was even the tiniest bit straighter than I am now, I probably would have fallen for him too. Joke. 

"Tell Camila I said hi." He smiled, leaving me in the elevator to my thoughts. And to the door closing. 

"Stop daydreaming so much Y/N..." I muttered under my breath, slipping out between the elevator doors closing just in time. 

"I would agree." A soft warm voice spoke from behind. 

The most precious brown eyes greeted me, it was Camila. I took a second to look at her. She was stunning. She always had an amazing figure and an even more amazing personality. Sometimes, I actually do regret taking a step back. 

I playfully and lightly punched her arm. She returned the same gesture, and took her arm into mine. 

"Thanks for willingly staying with me backstage. I know how difficult it can be staying awake when I murder you a thousand times over with my vocal warm-ups." Her head lay against my arm for a few seconds, a few seconds too short. 

As the cruise was coming to an end, her live show scheduled at the last day of the trip was coming around as well. I planned to spend as much time as healthily possible until it was all over. Deep in me, I was scared that after the trip was over, Camila would no longer associate herself with me. I came up with endless possibilities, endless reasons, what would happen to us after the trip. Most of them consisted of us never talking again. My paranoia grew little by little as the days were soon outnumbering us. I knew that I had to do something about us before I caved into a desperation for her. What it would be? We're on a cruise ship.

AN:

hi. yes, it has been a very long time. it is currently 4:25 AM as i write this, so bare with me. this chapter is short and clearly there are better plot events to get to, all of which will be in later chapters. u will just have to wait (hopefully not another 100 years). 

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Why have I been gone? For the past two years, school has pretty much eaten up all my time. Now that it's Summer, I have more time to allocate to different activities such as this. Clubs, homework, sports, are in no way, an excuse for my long absence. However, I do hope you are able to understand a little bit of where I am coming from. school sucks cx 

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give me suggestions! ask me some questions! i do love to talk about myself, but tell me about you as well! if u feel comfy with it