Youth

Intro

Thirteen
Yes,
that's the beginning.
Always expected a big bang,
thought I would be someone different,
but all I felt was disappointment.

Puberty hit hard,
amplified everything.
Love and hate,
Fear and pain,
Regret and sorrow.
All grew stronger,
Day after day.

Couldn't love the ones
I was supposed to love.
Couldn't hate the ones
I was supposed to hate.
Religion and faith,
Made no sense.
Philosophy,
Had no strength.

I longed for silence
more than my happiness.
Then came a day,
a change took place.
I no longer wished or dreamed,
I no longer searched for hope.
All I did was to stare,
At the reflection of my soul.

I found my head,
But not my thoughts.
I found my heart,
But not my thoughts.
I found myself,
But not my thoughts.

This journey is quite lonely
no one to hold on to.
Life is hard and tiring,
but I must go on.
Life seems to be getting greedy.
Asking me to do the things
I don't want to do.
Asking me to take decisions
I don't want to.

Life is moving fast,
Faster than time.
Chasing the lights,
Of a distant star.

I hope my youth doesn't go for waste.
Doing the things
I would regret.
Or the things
I would forget.
I hope I find my thoughts
And learn to cherish
The people in my heart.
I hope I go on,
Searching for a purpose
Hidden in the stars.