him.

going?..

haha alright i was so hurt and angry... i thought why put my self through that and him not care. like why would i didnt have a reason too there was nothing to hold onto i guess, ya know ive been trying and trying and so....

i cut my self off i didn't start any conversations i didn't flirt back... and the he goes back and posts all over social media about how its hard to let someone go. but he didn't do anything, he didn't have to let go he didn't have to face all the pain and hurt. but i did. but I'm not all upset or angry am i? no so why does he get to be.

do you ever just sit out side and just think? it doesn't even matter what it is, and you notice all the little things like how fresh the airs is how there's a thunder storm with no rain. i mean its super refreshing. to just clear your mind. yesterday i was over at my friends house and her mom her kids and i sat outside and had a conversation them. her mom just talked about a lot and all i could think about was how much more she helped me with its unbelievable. she truly is like a second mom.

and when hes out with his "new friend"... i always think wait does he even know i like him let a lone love him? because i know for a fact she will never love him half as much as i love him. and yeah i know its stupid. but i feel like I'm in a corner just trapped in darkness waiting for him to see it, to see all m feelings for him. but I'm on my own...

I'm spinning around in circles. I'm giving it my all but sometimes theres nothing left to do. hes so far away but still so near. like how did i handle this for so long, with out even thinking about how unhealthy it is, its been waying down on me and i couldn't even see it...