To Bad At GoodByes

Alissa's BackGround

I was 8 when my dad shot my mom and then took his own life. I was traumatized, that day took a turn for worst almost instantly.

I remembered when i was smaller I wasn't particularly a girly girly but i wasn't a full tomboy either. I was a mixture of both them, there were times I would play with cars and play pirates and found fake gold.

Then there were times i would stay inside and play with barbie and have tea parities inside and would have a blast alone.

Families always asked my parents when they were having a next baby more or less a baby boy  because they already had a girl.

Everyone was telling me having a sibling was the worst thing that could ever happen but i didn't mind because i had no one to play with.

My father was always drinking and my mother was trying the best to make ends meet so having a sibling wasn't a bad idea at the time.

I was an straight A student, mainly i was always alone and everyone used to make fun of me because of how news travelled quickly of my dad's alcohol abuse.

That day was nothing out of the ordinary, go to school, get made fun of, lunch, get made fun of some more and then come home. Life wasn't really that easy. Especially only being 7 at the time.

Two weeks after my 8th birthday, it had began the fights. Everyday all i could remember at that time was the word Affairs apparently my dad thought my mom was having one due to the late hours she had been working.

That day, oh how i dreaded coming downstairs to hear. As a curious as i was i wanted to listen i walked down to the living room and saw my dad stumbling to get something out of his bag and my mother begging him not do anything. He came back pointing a gun at the middle of her forehead. Her sad stricken smile was the last thing i saw before her life was taken from me and everything after was a daze.

I was so traumatized i didn't even heard the gunshots when my dad killed himself , the ambulance when they had arrived and even when the neighbors had removed me from my house. All i could remember was her smile before her life was taken.

Social Services, was the one thing i had feared if  something did happen to my parents and that nightmare was about to come to reality as my family had no space for me and the only solution at the time was Foster Care.

I prayed every night for one day a family member would come and take me from this jail but none did. Foster Families came and went and i was always brought back to the same place over and over again. This was a never ending process and i couldn't wait to be 18 for it to be over.

Well Thats Until I Met Him