sincerely, erica | one direction

i don't know if the way i write will trigger you, but there will be self-harm and suicidal thoughts written in here so if you're easily-triggered, please don't read it anymore. i love you so much.

if you need someone to talk to, you can always message us or in my personal @joaniall

stay strong x

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prologue

❝Why are you doing this to yourself? Can't you just stop? You're driving everybody nuts!❞

❝I can't, okay? I can't stop! I want to, but I can't! It's all inside my head, there is this monster inside me and I don't know how to stop it!❞

Have you ever been called things that keeps on coming back in your mind over and over again? Do you just ever laugh it off and smile to show them you don't care, but it was already too much and it's already hurting you so much deep inside? Do you ever feel like you want to die, but there is always something that is happening to stop you from dying?

Erica hates her life; she hates herself. She grew up without a family, with no one caring about her. She never felt how to be loved, she never felt she's important to someone. And because of that, she just want to die. No matter how much she wants to help herself, she can't anymore. There is this monster inside her that keeps on bringing back all the words that people told her.

Five boys will do everything to help her, even if she doesn't want.

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story inspired by "for the love of nancy"