The Key to Ruling a Broken Kingdom (Girl x Girl)

35: Persephonie

Cedric is going to get corinated. Let's see how it goes.

I sat still while the hairdresser did my hair. Today is Cedric's coronation, and I fidgeted in my uncomfortable dress. I felt the hairdresser add some things in my hair, making my head heavier. I didn't know if I would last the entire day like this.

I wore a figure-hugging dark blue dress, which clung to my arms, and came to a point on the back of my hands. There were pearls stitched into it the top portion of the dress, making it extremely itchy. My corset was also very tight around my waist, and I could barely breath. My back was beginning to get stiff from sitting in the same spot.

Finally, I heard the hairdresser say, "Done" and I stood up. I immediately felt faint, but the hairdresser caught me, and I leaned against her, breathing heavily. I hated functions where I had to look nice.

"Corset... too... tight!" I gasped. "Head... too... heavy."

"Persephonie" I heard Mother say. Her voice sounded far off, but I saw her blurred figure standing directly in over me. "Persephonie?"

I couldn't do anything other than gasp for breath. I honestly couldn't do it anymore. I finally gave up trying to stay awake and the world spun away.

-----

When I woke up, I saw Cedric sitting on a chair next to my bed. "I'm sorry" I whispered.

Cedric took notice of my open eyes and smiled. "Sorry for what?"

"Missing your coronation." I replied. "How did it go?"

"It went... fine" Cedric trailed off.

"No, it did not" I said, sensing he was lying.

"I wish you had been there. I talked to my subjects, and I wish you had been there to see them cheer and yell curses at the advisory council- they were there too. "Cedric took a deep breath. "You didn't want to come, did you?"

"What do you mean? Of course I did" I sat up.

"No, you did not! You fainted because you did not want to come!"

"Cedric-"

"Stop it, Persephonie! I don't know why, but you don't love me!" He yelled. "Despite everything I do for you, you still don't love me, and I don't know what else I can do."

"Cedric..." I gazed into his hazel eyes. I did not know what to say, because what he said was he truth. I did not love him. Not the way he wants me to.

"Why?" He asked, lowering his voice. "Why don't you love me the way I love you?"

I didn't say anything. Just gazed into his eyes. Cedric rolled his eyes. "It's because I'm not Louis, isn't it? You're trying to replace Louis with me, is that it? Is that all I am to you? A replacement?"

"No Cedric-" I tried, but I couldn't think of anything else to say. I had been trying to replace Louis with Cedric. But I never thought Cedric might find that out. "I wanted to come to your coronation, I really did! But the corset was too tight and-"

Cedric's cheeks reddened. "Oh" he said, quietly. "I didn't know that." He immediately stood up and walked out the door of my room. I sighed in relief, knowing that Cedric's feeling were probably still intact.

I didn't ever want him to realize that he was just a replacement for Louis. If he ever found that out... I cannot even imagine how hurt he would be. Then I wouldn't be able to live with myself, knowing that I was the reason Cedric was hurting.

But then, why am I trying to replace Louis with Cedric if I know I cannot love both of them the same way? Why did I not refuse to marry him? Was there anyone I love the way I loved Louis? No. There isn't. Or at least, not now. But Megan came to mind.

What did I think of her anyway? Why had I been so jealous when she had been talking to that gardener? What did it matter to me who she fancied and who fancied her? When she had said that she fancied a man I would not know, I wanted to stab that man. Hell, I even wanted to stab myself.

But... why? Why did it matter to me? Why did I care? None of it was making sense, and it was hurting my head. I fell back onto the bed and let sleep overtake me again. Maybe I just had not been thinking straight. Everything will make more sense tomorrow morning.

A/N: I might go back and edit this chapter.  I am also aware that corsets weren't a thing in the medieval ages, but like mentioned in the very beginning of the book, this story doesn't precisely follow the historical timeline. Vote and Comment!