Gay(TM) Stories

Complications in Feeling

Finding a boyfriend is hard. Even expressing feelings is hard. Hard for me at least. I will also normally fall for the wrong guy. Things like their overabundant straightness are usually ignored if they have a jawline that could cut diamonds. This is once I know them. So facts that we know so far.
1. Fine as hell.
2. StraightTM.
3. We know each other.
4. I have a crush on them and expressing these feelings could lead to problems.

So I end up accidentally expressing my feelings or failing to hide them or doing something else to screw my self over.

Then there is the fact that I fall for the wrong guy. Well that's not the right way to put it. I fall for guys who I can't have. I can't seem to have a relationship with a perfect and beautiful person. No I have to fall for the ones who are straight or the ones who are in a relationship or who are far away or the ones who don't want me. Then I feel unworthy and spiral into a self manufactured cycle of depression and trying not to eat my feelings or bitch to people because I feel like I'm annoying others when I share some little information such as: I don't like the color yellow. And when I do go and talk to people I feel like I'm looking for attention and sympathy. And I am looking for a bit of sympathy. I am needy though. Or wanty. I want a guy to love me for who I am. The kind who will make me feel like I can do or say anything that I would normally do or say and they would love me for it. But that kind of guy doesn't seem to exist.