Emerald and Scarlet ~ Drarry

Ginny's Question

Professor Mellow's words felt like a punch in Harry's gut. Patronus study. That's definitely what she had said.

He felt Ron's hand on his upper back before he said anything. "You right mate?"

"Mhmm," Harry nodded. That was a lie. His stomach was twisting and his hands were shaking underneath the desk.

He had not dared to even think about his Patronus since the first Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson of the year. The memory swept waves of embarrassment and disappointment over him.

What if he could never conjure one again?

Harry's body fell into autopilot mode as he retreated deeper and deeper into his mind. He opened his textbook and began taking notes while his old bad habits returned.

You'll never be good enough!

Pathetic! That's what you are. Why can't you be like Ron or Hermione? They aren't insane like you.

You shouldn't even be here.

+ + +

Draco said that he had a cold and requested that they hold their potions tutorial in the dorm room.

Harry sat on the end of Draco's bed as he waited for him to return from the en-suite bathroom which he had excused himself to.

He reentered the room shortly and stopped a few steps from the doorway, just staring at Harry.

"You have the face," said Draco. Harry wondered if he expected him to understand what that meant. "The face you make when you're having an emotion," Draco rolled his eyes as he made his way over to his bed, planting himself right in the middle. "I refuse to tutor you if you're going to be depressed the whole time. Out with it, what's wrong?"

"I," Harry scrunched up his face and dropped his head into his hands. "It's the Patronus study. I can't conjure one anymore."

"I did hear that rumour," Draco sighed, shuffling closer to Harry. "However, during my lesson yesterday, we were notified that it will only be required in the written exam."

"That doesn't change the fact that I can't do it," Harry looked up at Draco who was unsurely placing a hand on Harry's shoulder.

"I think you should know that the Patronus charm is a very advanced piece of magic. You aren't going to be the only one who can't do it," said Draco, rubbing small circles into Harry's back

"But I could, Draco!" Harry snapped at him, making him withdraw his hand. "I'm the problem."

"Have you tried to cast one since?" Draco raised an eyebrow, unimpressed at Harry's attitude.

Harry knew the answer but was too stubborn to admit it. Making eye contact with Draco only made him feel worse as his smug expression only reminded Harry that he was, in fact, right.

Neither of them said anything, sitting inches apart and both staring into the middle distance.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I have never been able to produce a Patronus," said Draco nonchalantly.

"Really?" Harry suddenly felt very obnoxious.

"I've tried," Draco shrugged, leaning against the brick wall that his bed sat against. "I guess I don't have any truly happy memories."

Harry crawled over to sit beside Draco. Harry picked up the blonde haired boy's right hand in his left. He held it gently as if one faulty move would cause it to break.

"Not a single memory?" Harry asked softly.

"I thought I would have. The first time I rode a broom, boarding the Express to Hogwarts for the first time, my first kiss, my first time. Nothing seems to be good enough," Draco sighed.