lowercase intended-
you had so much to sermonize that you became silent.
you were overtaken with such a compulsion to observe that you become blind.
you walked on coals yet could not feel the pain from the sting, you became numb.
you spent every moment craving a sensation of senselessness, so much the ambience of a threat deemed less dangerous than physical comfort.
the game he played with you was no longer fun, you started to choke on ashes that filled your lungs.
you're were a modern day Philomela, voice as sweet as a nightingales song.
they say all things truly wicked start from something truly innocent.
naivety and curiosity will kill a young girls straightforwardness.
you started noticing things, like the way the air changes a moment before it rains.
sleep seemed less appealing than the stars you could view all night.
you're mother gave you her old robe- you'd sleep with it for the the rest of your life, smelling her faded perfume even when it's in rags.
you picked up some nasty habits, though no one would notice the bloody trash.
but, you'd become stronger, smarter, deadlier. you'd master the art of deception and trick men into ruining their lives. the pleasure you'd receive from being cruel would quickly wear off and you'd look for a distraction somewhere else. this is where you found your love for reading and writing- you could escape from reality and forget about your inner demons.
discovering your artistic abilities also lead to the first time you accidentally smashed your hand through your glass desk- and didn't cry.
or the countless times you'd fall in the garden and come home with skinned knees, only to be stopped by your neighbor and given cherry- strawberry if you'd been good- lollipops while he cleaned your wounds. when he asked if he could wash your dirty skirt one day, you smiled and knocked over a glass, never coming back again.
one year later, when your mother sent you out to see what had happened after hearing a gunshot from next door, you saw his body in the front yard and didn't feel remorse. and when your mom talked to the men in uniform about him being such a caring man towards her daughter, you even smiled.
Things will change though- you'll meet someone who will change your views of thinking, and tell him things that most would call you insane for. You won't tell him everything, the childlike mischievousness in you still enjoys a good game of who's who, but eventually you will tell him everything.
