Till You're Numb

Fear

" It's been months. Months without you all.

I haven't decided it actually. At this point, to be completely honest I don't think I have a choice in the matter. In fact, if I had any say in it- you'd all be erased. Any memory, hell... even meeting you. Despite that being said, I love you all.

I've come to this conclusion simply because without you, I don't know what the hell i'm doing.

I guess it's sort of too late now huh?  I don't want it to be... If- If i could make it right, I would.

Kooks gone right? Stop acting as if I don't know. I'm not and idiot.

I knew before all of you. That's right. Yoongi for once, knows more than everyone else. I watched him get hit by the car from across the street. I didn't do anything, which i  regret everyday. If I had, things could've been different. But the fact that no one told me that he was most likely going to die, is what gets me the most.

I find it funny how im always the last to know.. even when it comes to death or illness.

I loved him you know that? I wanted to start a life with him, adopt a few kids maybe- Fuck it. It's over now.

And I don't blame any of you actually. This time, it's my own actions that im well aware of killed him. without a doubt. I, Min Yoongi... Killed Jeon Jungkook.

You might have realized what this note is. If you haven't figured it out yet though, i'll just blatantly say it.

This is my suicide note.

By the time you get this, I should be nothing but dust in a room engulfed in fire.

What a crappy way to go right? Especially for someone who accomplished so much in such a short amount of time. It doesn't really feel that way though.

Don't worry, this isn't a decision I would make lightly. Everyday since I left, the thought constantly crossed my mind.

Before I go, I wanted to say thank you.

Thank you for making my living years amazing and I want to thank Jungkook the most.. y'know, in case he survived.

Thank you for loving me.

Goodbye "

- Min Yoongi

Namjoon stared blankly at the note in his hand, completely at a loss for words. Was that really it? Was this really the last time he'd ever hear from Yoongi?

His eyes widened as he recalled the reason he did it was because of Jungkook, who was very much still alive. How the hell was he going to tell him?

He rubbed his eyes and thought for a moment. Jungkook wasn't his only problem. He'd have to deal with the others as well. His throat choked up at an image in his mind of the others staring at him after hearing the news with eyes threatening to overflow at any moment.

Moments later, Jungkook turned up in the center of the room.

Great. Fan-fucking-tastic.