Leuthold Preparatory | ✓

Chapter Twenty-Four: Part I

The Sunflower Field

There were as many beds as desks, set out in pairs per room. Noah and Hannil slept in one room while the girls slept in another across the hall. Despite the comfort, Noah was unable to fall asleep; he stayed awake staring at the ceiling and wondering what would happen in three days. Hannil hadn't told him much more than that there was a man in a city, a light on the hill, that would somehow solve all of their problems like magic. It was nothing more than a story, Noah worried, but Hannil had all of his faith pushed onto that magic. 

In the early morning hours, he wondered what look Hannil had given him before he tore himself away and forced himself down the steps. It had to be gruesome, Noah decided, Hannil looked almost as if someone had struck him from a pleasant dream. It had to be from the Academy, he thought. Yet, he couldn't believe that was the case. Hannil had seen everything Noah had and put on his brave-face and moved on, even if his body, mind, and heart was begging him to stop. He was brave, Noah thought when he rolled over to look at him in the other twin-sized bed.

It allowed Noah's anxiety to worm its way back to the forefront of his mind. It wondered if Hannil regretted being near him. If helping him was a bad decision. Noah thought it must have been, Hannil would have probably made it all the way to La Ville de Vert if he didn't have to drag Noah along, maybe even back in England. He would be better off without him. 

Even when the sun came up, Noah was no-less anxious. If anything, he grew even more so watching Hannil sleep. He looked peaceful; the glow of the sun in his hair and on his skin was more beautiful than that of the moonlight. Noah liked it better, it reminded him of statues and paintings. Hannil might as well have been made of gold or marble and in a museum, Noah thought, he felt just as off-limits.

Yet he wasn't, Noah considered after a while of the sun coming in through the windows behind their beds. Hannil was there but he felt far away, only further the more Noah noticed the distance. Noah could reach out and touch him but convinced himself not to; Hannil felt like a mirage, soon to disappear if he tested it. A perfect sleeping beauty, never to awake. 

Yet, Hannil awoke. Either from Noah's staring or simply the light of day. He sat his head up and looked around before he dropped back into the bed and rolled over. His back faced Noah and Noah wondered if Hannil even knew where he was by how he grumbled and looked around once again. His back looked broad in the bed, his hair stuck up. It was cute, he thought. 

Noah wondered, for a moment, whether the person that normally occupied the bed he used ever looked across the aisle to the other person and felt guilty for doing so. If they felt guilty for having another exist inside their head. For memorizing all they could and stashing it away as if they were a small mouse preparing for winter.

Noah waited until he heard the girls' door open before he sprung out of bed and put on his pants and went to the door. Ines was awake first and did not seem pleased about it. She greeted him normally and made breakfast for them. She managed to get across that she did not want his help in cooking; he thought she even said that he would be useless at it.

For a while, in efforts to calm his anxiety, Noah wandered around the school and wondered how different his life would have been if he had gone to the small house in the forest instead of Leuthold. Despite that it didn't seem to be haunted or have any strange things about it--if anything it was warm and inviting--Noah felt even more guilty considering that he would be anywhere else. That he wouldn't have known Hanna or Liam or Hannil or even Mi Na. He flinched at the thought of her, he hadn't thought of her much beyond her scream of pain and fear. He tried to stash the memory of her away. 

When Hannil finally got out of bed, Noah decided it would be strange if he wanted to eat alone and went to the dining room (that sat ten) and ate with the three of them. They talked for a while about their plans before they cleaned up the kitchen and themselves and climbed back into the car to head out once again.