I was in kindergarten and I can already feel the gravity of my skin tone. It was Christmas time in my school and our teacher is announcing the roles we were to be in the Christmas play. I was really praying. I wanted to be an angel. Better yet, I wanted to be Angel Gabriel, the messenger, bearer of good news. I sat quietly and prayed. "Please Lord, Sana po ako si Angel Gabriel. Or kahit anong angel na lang ok na po Basta angel" (I wish I will be Angel Gabriel, or any other angel is cool as long as I'm one). I wanted to wear a nice, flowy, sparkly dress and pretend wings. I wanted to wear my hair down like a grown up woman. Finally she called my name. "Rowella! And you will be a Shepherd!" Wow she was so happy announcing it. Didn't she know how embarrassing that feeling was? I wanted to wear a tiara but now I get to wear a towel on my head instead. I forced myself to smile and pretend to look forward to the day I get to wear an oversized bathrobe instead of a dress. Oh well, I reassured myself. At least I was part of the play. I looked at the lineup of angels. They are all light skinned. That's when I first learned the hard truth of being dark in the Philippines: light skin= pretty. Dark skin= not so much. Light skin is always the preference. Dark skin always has room for improvement. My 4 year old mind has since concluded that maybe I wasn't pretty enough and I needed to pray harder to make skin lighter.
Fact of the dark-skinned Filipina life: You will never get to be an angel or even Virgin Mary in Christmas plays if you are dark. But that's ok. Reyna Elena during fiesta? Forget it. Class muse? You wish. Marjorette? Please. Just read a book. You will be fine.
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What I Learned as a Skinny Dark Skinned Filipina
Non-FictionDear Dark Skinned Filipina, I understand how you feel. I was born and raised in the Philippines, but now living abroad. If you're anything like me, growing up dark skinned in the Philippines (and short, for the matter), you've been a subject of ridi...
