one day, about in the middle of july, i decided that i was going to get myself a sugar daddy. a good idea? no. not in the slightest. but i was desperate for an air conditioner and maybe some ice cream, and i could barely afford ramen as it was. i literally only had one pot, and it was the ramen pot. i'd been living off of paper plates and plastic utensils for months. i couldn't even afford a good pair of chopsticks! i felt like i was betraying my culture because of that, i don't know. heat brain thinks weird things.
but anyways, sugar daddy. it was urgent, like hella urgent. it needed to happen, so i hauled my ass up off my bed and trekked down to mcdonald's for the free wifi. it was shitty, but still. so, i looked up sugar daddy websites, hoping to god the little gremlins (aka children) wouldn't ask their parentd what a sugar daddy was if they saw my laptop. i was really praying that wouldn't happen, i didn't have enough money to get sued, oh god.
i hoped no parents would sue me, even my sugar daddy wouldn't want to deal with that. maybe i should get more than one, in case one of these stay at home bitchass moms tries to sue me for tainting her child or whatever. so, i clicked on the first website that came up. i was sort of revolted by what i had to do to set up my account. it was u comfortable and i probably blushed enough for the entire city.
basically, it started normal. age, name, location, gender, etc. but then came the kinks. oh, lord, the kinks. my mother would've fainted had she seen what was on my computer screen. i hoped that she would never have to find out about it, because there was a fucking piss kink. that's right, you heard me. piss kink. who the fuck is into pee! that's like, hella nasty! i almost signed off of the website, but i didn't. i needed that sugar daddy.
hopefully there were a few gay ones, i refused to dress up as a woman so that some old dude could get off and i get paid not enough. i needed big bucks, do you hear me? like, large pizza wih three toppings kind of money! maybe even, like, money so i didn't have to shop at the thrift store once a year. but that was really just wishful thinking, to be completely honest. he'd probably pay me like 500 dollars once and then i'd have to go through the terrifying process once again.
i considered signing up for another website as well, but ultimately got distracted by trying to choose my best selfie for my profile picture. in the back of my head, i wished that there would've been an age preference option. i wasn't about to get involved with some old ass mummy dude, his dick probably wouldn't even work with viagra added into the picture. he'd probaby just watch me use a dildo or somehing, and i shivered at the thought. i definitely wasn't really into voyeurism, not in the slightest. it almost bothered me, actually. scratch that, it totally grossed me the fuck out.
anyways.
i added a few other pictures of me, and then a short bio. it sort of reminded me of tinder, except, like, creepier? and so i waited at the mcdonald's, texting my best friend while i waited for any messages to pop up or for an employee to kick me out or something.
>dude guess what
<fuck you want bitch baby
>im getting a sugar daddy are you proud of me david
<MILO I SWEAR TO GOD YOU BETTER FUCKING NOT BE SERIOUS
>i am literally so fucking serious right now you can come to the mcdonalds and check if your dick needs confirmation princess
<i cant fucking believe you just GET A JOB
>i literally have a job oh my god you should be more supportive of my and my life choices you absolute ham
<im not supporting you taking some donald trump lookin ass shriveled up dick in your bootyhole
<not in my house baby girl
