« Sometimes something catastrophic can occur in a split second that changes a person's life forever; other times one minor incident can lead to another and then another and another, eventually setting off just as big a change in a body's life. »
-Jeannette Walls-
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chapter sixteen
"DO YOU WANT kids?"
⠀⠀⠀I ask after a long awaited silence, with the full intent of knowing his answer to this question will change everything. not might, will.
⠀⠀⠀he looks at me with confusion, and I decide to clarify.
⠀⠀⠀ "I don't mean right now, and not necessarily with me. Just in general. In the future, do you see yourself having your own children?"
⠀⠀⠀he doesn't even hesitate.
⠀⠀⠀ "yes. absolutely. I couldn't imagine a future where I'm not a father."
⠀⠀⠀I squeeze my eyes closed and take a shaky intake of breath.
⠀⠀⠀ "braylee? what is it?"
⠀⠀⠀when I feel the tears start to rise, I place my hands over my face. Almost no time later, mason removes them.
⠀⠀⠀ "look at me,"
⠀⠀⠀so I do.
⠀⠀⠀ "do you not want kids?"
⠀⠀⠀the sentence alone is enough to make me want to cry my eyes out all over again.
⠀⠀⠀ "I need to tell you a story."
⠀⠀⠀he nods his head but doesn't say anything, urging me to continue.
⠀⠀⠀ "so you know the whole James Peters situation, right? but what you don't know is what happened after."
⠀⠀⠀he looks at me deeply and takes both of my hands in his. Saying everything he needs to say without saying it.
⠀⠀⠀ "ok well after... the situation happened. I tried to just get over it and move on with my life and just forget it ever happened. It was hard— but I was trying,"
⠀⠀⠀ "well after a couple weeks I started feeling kinda sick. And so my mind immediately jumped to— oh my god. I'm pregnant. I hadn't gotten my period and I was scheduled to get it around that time. I waited a little longer before taking a test because it's not uncommon for my period to be late."
⠀⠀⠀ "another month went by. no period. I took a test. not pregnant. I started panicking. I decided now was the time I had to tell my mom about what happened. She wasn't really mad per say but she was so upset and furious that James Peters did that to me and that she didn't know sooner and that there was nothing she could do to fix it. We both cried a lot that day. We eventually we came to the conclusion I should go see the doctor."
⠀⠀⠀ "well we went. and... it was the day that changed my life forever."
⠀⠀⠀ I take a deep breath and close my eyes, willing myself to say the next few words.
YOU ARE READING
Hopelessly Hopeful
Teen Fiction| Highest Raking #10 in disaster | I remember once he said to me, "she was like the wind, always there but never present" and if she was the wind, then he was was the rain that followed. I loved the rain. but just like the rain, I knew that what we...
