Desperation

Chapter One: The Orphanage

The orphanage looked well built and huge. Like a mansion. Once inside, there weren't too many kids there. They varied in ages. There was a few my age, which I didn't expect. I had a bad feeling about the place, though. Like if I stayed here I'd get hurt. I felt eyes on me. All around me. I started feeling hands. I felt myself start shaking worse again, and nervously picked at the medical bandages on my arms. I couldn't get to the skin yet because of the bandages, they'd wrapped them in a way I couldn't easily dig through.
They wanted to assign me a therapist but I don't have insurance, my mother never signed me up for it. I'd never been to a hospital before unless I had a broken arm. Even then, it'd take days before I was taken. Becker must have noticed I was getting uneasy as he placed a hand on my shoulder. It jerked me back to reality. "Listen, Bailey. You'll be outta here in no time. A month, maybe a month and a half. That's all. We just need a little time." He promised. I wanted to yell at him. I wanted to tell him no. No I won't. I don't have any family left. I don't have any real family. My dad is dead and no one knows who he was, the only person who knew is dead. You'll never find any family. Unless it's one of my moms ex boyfriends.
Instead of protesting I nodded and held it in. Don't cry, big a big boy and don't cry. Jeb's words played in my head from that night. He signed me into the place, and left. instead of getting a room to myself or anything, the man behind the counter simply said, "make yourself at home. I'm Lorance." That was it. I could tell this would be hell. This whole thing was going to be hell. I went to the emptiest bedroom that had nothing in it and just kind of laid there. This room only had a single empty drawer, and a bed. After about twenty minutes of doing nothing but laying on the bed and staring at the ceiling, thinking of everything, having a breakdown.. a girl walked in. She was my age. "You should run." She said. "Run away while you still can, before anyone gets attached to you." I looked at her.
"What?" I asked. "You heard me. You're smart. Go." She looked angry. Where the hell was I supposed to go, though? What did she expect? I just kept looking at her. "God, you're clueless. He's going to hurt you." She snarled. "He hurts all of us. You can still run." "I can't." I picked at the bandages. She glanced at them, raising a brow. "Why not, boy?" She asked. "I have no where to go." I grunted angrily. It's not like I could do anything. I have literally no idea how to get back to town from here. No idea where to go. "You should run away." She looked me over and her anger softened. "Wait.." She said. "Where'd you come from?" I didn't explain. She must've taken something from the ragged clothes.
I simply looked at her and then down to my bandages. Hesitantly, she sat on the edge of the bed. She looked ill. She looked fragile, just as broken as I was. "What's your name?" She asked. You already know. Everyone does. I wanted to hiss at her. But I remembered I wasn't in Desperation. No one here knew who I was. "Bailey." I said quietly. She nodded. "I'm Daniela. Why are you here?" She asked. Her tone was softer, much different than the previous angry and defensive one. I shrugged a bit. I didn't want to talk about my son story. So, I made it short. I stuttered a bit due to my anxiety.
"My mom died yesterday. I don't have a dad, or any other family. So I'm here." She looked at the floor, but didn't say the regular 'I'm sorry for your loss.' That you would expect. I must have said it in a way that let her know how I really felt. "Where did you come from?" "Desperation." I kept my replies short. I didn't want to talk about it. If I was stuck here I wanted to start new. She could tell. "So. I guess you're stuck here." She shrugged. "Just.. I'm sorry you got sent here of all places. It ain't a good place." She got up. "You'll figures it out soon enough." And with that she left. I was curious as to what she meant.
I didn't look any further into it. I just laid there all night staring at the ceiling. It was cold, but I didn't complain. I just laid there. It was a long night, no sleep. I sat up after a while finally and decided to wander around. The place was dark, but the bedrooms all had light on. What time was it? I didn't have a phone. I didn't have anything. I couldn't tell. I went to one of the rooms where I'm assuming everyone can just hang out, and one of the other kids was there. "Hi Bailey." He said. He was a few years younger than I was, probably twelve. "Dani told us about you."
I raised a brow and sat down. This kid sat in the floor against the wall, cradling one of the infants. "I'm Edriel." He smiled, looking down at the baby. "This is Toby. He's new here, too." 'New' is an understatement. This baby looked like he was fresh out of the womb, maybe a few days old. No infant like that would be here. If you give birth at a hospital, don't they do some kind of adoption thing there? Instant adoption.. I don't know what it's called. You sign up to adopt and the mother chooses who it goes to.
I don't know, I just knew something was off. "How old is he?" I asked quietly. "He's a week old. He was born October seventh." I nodded. "Why's He here?" "He's not an orphan. Dani had him." He stomach dropped. "Who's his dad?" "Lorance." "What?" "Lorance is a mean man." He moves the hair that was previously covering his right eye, revealing a deep cut. "He's mean to us." I looked at him. "He did that to you?" I asked. I wanted to call Beckett. I wanted Beckett here now. "Why don't you call the police?" "He cut the phone lines. We can't get in or out of here, not by a phone call."
I looked at him. "Well.. someone's gonna come get me in a couple weeks, he promised, he's a cop. So I can get him to save you." The boy's eyes lit up. "All of us?" He asked. I nodded. "Yeah.. all of you." I smiled softly. It was a fake smile, forced, but he fell for it. I felt like I had to help them. I had to get them out. I didn't know how. I could tell Beckett, and get him to open a case on Lorance. They could go to a different orphanage. "How many of you are there?" I asked. Edriel counted aloud. "Dani, Teddy, Serenity, Snow, Rin, and Chip." He said quietly. "Not that many kids here, huh?" He shook his head. "No. No one really comes here either, so none of us get adopted. But that's okay. We're like a family, Dani is the mom who protects us from Lorance, the mean dad."
I stiffened. The mom who protects. He noticed me finally, noticing my shaking. "Hey, why do you shake like that?" I tried to hide it. "Uhh..." I hesitated. "Well." I figured sense he told me something about him, I'd tell him something about Me. "My mom didn't protect me like Dani protects you guys. So I got hurt, and that messed my head up a bit. So I shake." He looked sad. "You got hurt real bad, huh?" "Nah. You've went through more. You're a little.." warrior. "Warrior." He shook his head. "No. You're valid, no amount of abuse is okay." Damn, this twelve year old is more informed on this than I thought. I hadn't dealt with twelve year olds before, so I didn't really know what to expect. When I was twelve I was nothing like him.
I don't think I was like anyone. I was isolated so I didn't learn to function all the way, it happened slower. "You're pretty smart, huh?" I asked. He shook his head. "It's common sense." He explained. "Even if I got hurt more that don't mean I got hurt worse. Not even saying I got hurt more." He shrugged. "Well." I started again. "What time is it? What time does everyone else wake up?" "Usually early. It's six." Lorance woke up and he came to us. "Why are you two up so early?" He grumbled. "We just woke up." Edriel lied. "Oh." Lorance left with that. Then the others started waking up and joining us. I usually wouldn't have been okay with this many people, but I knew they was all hurt too. They probably were just as uncomfortable with me as I was of them.
Daniela sat next to me and Edriel. "How early was you up?" She asked Ed. "Sense four." He responded. "I slept all day yesterday." She looked at me. She didn't ask, she saw from the circles under my eyes that I didn't sleep at all. "So. Who wants breakfast? We can go make some if we have enough groceries." The younger children, which was a girl who looked about two and a boy who looked.. four or five, leaped up happily and ran off. "Well come on, guys, we gotta make food for them now." She took Toby from Ed and followed the little ones. I got up and went after her. We were the oldest there. The others all looked between ten and thirteen.
"Have you made yourself at home yet, Bailey?" One of the kids asked. He looked twelve. He had dark hair and blue eyes, but they were mostly hidden by his bangs. He looked so edgy. "I'm Serenity, by the way." I smiled a little and nodded. "I guess so. Nice to meet you." I shrugged. I kind of liked them. They were accepting. They were all kids. Daniela looked sleepily through the cabinet and made a face. "We don't have anything to make. Not even cereal. What does that bastard want us to do.. starve..?" She mumbled. The kids looked disappointed. "Well.. tomorrow I'll ask him to go to the store."
This is how it went for a couple days. Only me and Ed knew of my plan. On my second week there, Lorance finally showed me in particular his mean side. It was just the beginning of what was going to be a very hard day. Me and Dani were talking about what we planned to do with our lives if we ever got them. "I don't know. Maybe a doctor or something. I'm good at caring for people." She started. "Or I'd run an orphanage, take better care of the kids there than Lorance does." I nodded. "What about you?" She asked. "I'd want to help people." I answered without hesitation. "I don't know how. But I feel useless if I'm not." I shrugged. "I don't know." Lorance come up behind me. He grabbed me by my hair, and lifted me up by it.
Dani jumped to her feet. "Put him down!" She snarled. "No." Lorance was pissed. His voice tone matched Jeb's on the night he was arrested. "You have someone here to take you in. Says he's family," Lorance threw me at the ground. I was confused. Dani was the same. By now, the others here new my story. She looked at him. "He has no family." She spat. "Eon hurt him." I stumbled to my feet and he slapped me, sending me into the wall. "He's the son of my bastard brother!" Lorance scowled. "If I had known that I'd have killed him when he came here." Who..? He grabbed my wrist tight and led me to the exit doors and Dani and the others followed us. Ed looked just as confused.
When I saw who was here to get me, my stomach dropped. His face was burned into my memory. His voice. His touch. Jeb stood in the doorway. "Yeah, that's him. That's my son." My shaking was so bad. My legs turned to jello and I dropped to the floor. This bastard was trying to take me. I felt myself jolt and jerk like I was having a seizure. Maybe I was. I couldn't think straight. I couldn't hear. I couldn't breathe. All I could think was WHORE. I heard my mom screaming at me. I saw him throw her. I heard his screaming. I heard his words.
What broke me from the trance was Dani's voice calmingly saying my name. "Wake up, Bailey." She said. When I opened my eyes, I was still on the floor. "He's gone. I explained it to Lorance and he took him outside. I guess he didn't like him too much either.." I instantly put my hands to my mouth and started chewing. Rocking myself back and forth. I had finally torn through the bandages. She pushed my hands away from my mouth. "Stop.." she pleaded. "It's okay now. He can't get you." I wrapped my arms around her tightly. "Promise?" I asked. She nodded. "I promise."
When the month was over, Beckett came to the place to get me. I don't know where he expected to take me. But I instantly took him to the bedroom and told him everything Lorance had done. Easily, that opened a case. Beckett took all the kids and moved them to a new orphanage run by a woman he knew personally. They thanked me and we said our goodbyes, and I admit, I cried. They were the first real family I had. Before she left though, Dani took me aside. "Bailey.. thank you so much." I shook my head. "No, it's okay. No need to thank me.." I mumbled. She looked at me, noticing I was converting back to my shy ways.
"Don't just forget what you got here. Be happy.. don't just go back to that little ball of anxiety that you were when you first came to the orphanage." She lectured. I was taken aback a little. "Here, let's make a deal." She held out her hand. "Live your best life and I'll live mine. Got it? You break the deal I'll die. I break the deal you die." It was a childish punishment, but I took her hand hesitantly. "Deal." I said, cracking a genuine smile. We parted our ways and she joined the others with the new woman, named Gira. I could tell she was nice. Beckett smiled and thanked me for speaking out about what was going on and saving them.