I Caught Myself

Moving On

*2 months later*

Hayley

I waited patiently in the office with my hood up hopefully the paparazzi doesn't see me I tapped anxiously in the arm of the chair "Hayley Williams" the nurse called finally I followed her back she told me to wait after a while a woman came in "hello Hayley I'm doctor Gordon" she said shaking my hand then sitting on a stool in front of me

"okay what seems to be the problem" she asked I started to pick at my fingers "well for the past few weeks I've been sick and tired and I have these weird mood swings" I explained praying I was wrong about what all of this meant

she looked at me knowingly "ms.williams I don't think I should have to ask this but are you sexually active" I nodded she sighed handing me a small plastic cup "just a pregnancy test then ms.williams" she asked I nodded taking the cup and heading to the bathroom once I finished I gave her the sample she told me she'd call in 1-3 days with my results

The next day we had practice for a small group of shows we were doing in Europe but I was feeling a little sick so we had to cut it short plus I was in a pissy mood once again for no reason which didn't get any better when Taylor's girlfriend Emma came to visit him at the studio

dammit I hate her so much and I don't even know why she's the nicest person I've ever met maybe it's because she's with Taylor and I want to be with Taylor but I can't cause I'm fucking stupid I realized I had a crush on Taylor imediately after I kicked him out when we slept together

I began thinking about it and it didn't seem to be all that bad I was planning on telling him that next week but it was too late he already had Emma after a while I couldn't stand to see them flirt any longer so I excused myself and went home, alone, again!

*2 days later*

I was sitting eating ice cream with pretzels while drinking a two liter of Sierra Mist ugh weird ass cravings when I got a call from an unknown number I answered it "hello who's this" I asked "hello Hayley this is doctor Gordon with your results" the voice said

I breathed a sigh of relief "okay so what'd they say" I asked I heard shuffling before she answered "well Hayley the results show that you are pregnant 8 and a half weeks congratulations" I was a mix of emotions surprised confused afraid but most of all I was excited I was having a baby I was having Taylor's baby

I thanked her and we said our goodbyes my first insinct was to tell Taylor but I couldn't I couldn't ruin his relationship with Emma but I can't tell anyone else either they'll ask who's it is and word'll get back to Taylor I guess I'm just gonna have to do it on my own

I rubbed a hand over my stomach "I guess it's just you and me kid" then I felt it the baby kicked I wanted to run into the bedroom and tell Taylor but then I remembered he wasn't here and he wasn't going to be.

I sighed and continued rubbing a hand over my stomach