Living With The Bad Boy

15

Well, questions were supposed to be answered but, I may or may not have fallen asleep. A few days have gone by and now its Thursday. I was walking home cause Ryan had to stay at school late. It's been about thirty minutes since I left the school, since I had stopped at the book store just to browse. I'm almost to the apartment, I'm walking across the street when it happened. A car is heading straight for me. I try to move, but it's like my feet were glued to the ground. I just stand there, paralyzed. I close my eyes, preparing for the impact, when I hear the sound of metal against metal, I open my eyes. What I see next is like a scene from my nightmares. The car had swerved and instead of hitting me, they hit the pole for the traffic light. I start to have a hard time breathing. As I gulp air, trying to breathe, I start to shake and sweat. That's when I realized it. I was having a panic attack. I begin get dizzy and I feel like I'm not even there. I'm panicking as my knees buckle and my vision is turning dark. As everything starts to fade away, I can faintly hear the sound of a car door opening and someone yelling my name. And then everything goes black.
_______________
When I woke up I realized I was in my room. What the hell? I sit up, but I immediately lay back down. I feel drained. "Ryan?" I called out. I immediately hear footsteps quickly approaching. "You're awake!Are you okay? Do you want water? Food?" He looked frantic. It took all I had not to laugh. "Ryan, relax. I'm fine and of course I want food. I'm still the same person. Food is love, food is life." He looks at me, still having a nervous look on his face. "Got it, food. Do you need anymore pillows? Wait. I'll get you one," he rambles as he tries to leave my room, but runs into the corner of the bed. "Ryan, I'm fine." He looks at me, unsure. "Come here," I motion my arm for him to sit next to me. Slowly, he walks over and sits down. I grab his hand and put it where my heart is. "See? My heart is beating. I'm fine. It was just a panic attack." But I knew I was lying to him. I knew what was happening. I hadn't had a panic attack in months. But, instead of saying that, I smiled at him. It wasn't fake, but it wasn't the whole truth. "Okay," he whispered. He got up and walked out to I believe the kitchen. Yum. I'm getting some of his amazing food he makes.

I KNOW I KNOW! IM THE WORS! I CAN'T EVEN UPDATE ON A SOMEWHAT NORMAL PACE. Okay well more to come soon.