Living With The Bad Boy

16

shishtarsnatchedbih  THIS WHOLE BOOK IS DEDICATED TO YOU BTW
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After he brought me some food, I was exhausted. When I woke up it was morning. Luckily today was Saturday and I didn't have to go to school. Getting out of bed, I headed to the kitchen. I felt like I needed to make him some breakfast as a sort of thank you since he took care of me yesterday. Grabbing a bowl, eggs, and milk, I made some scrambled eggs. I popped some bread into the toaster too. When the eggs were done and I had spread some butter on the toast, I walk to his room and knocked. I heard the shuffling of feet across carpet and then the door opened. Behind it revealed a sleepy Ryan. "I made you breakfast." He glanced down at the plate then back at me. He gently took the plate and walked towards the kitchen with me right behind him. Setting it down he turned around to look at me. "How are you feeling?" "I'm feeling just fine," I replied. We sat down in comfortable silence as he ate and I stole some of his toast.
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As I was washing his plate by hand since I didn't feel like leaving it in the dishwasher for a while, I thought about just how much happier I have been since I moved in with Ryan. I realized I haven't been this happy since before the accident. Life was going well. Ryan and I don't fight, I'm getting good grades, and finally can stop worrying so much. I put the plate away and dried my hands. Ryan was on a run so I decided to just go write some music. After ten minutes of not being able to think of anything, I tossed my journal on my desk and sighed. Ryan wouldn't be back for at least another twenty minutes. Grabbing my guitar I strummed my fingers along the strings to the beat so familiar I could play it in my sleep.
He thought you were awesome
He thought I was awesome? My brother?
Definitely!
How?
Well, he said
There's nothing like your smile
Sort of subtle and perfect and real
He said
You never knew how wonderful
That smile could make someone feel
And he knew
Whenever you get bored
You scribble stars on the cuffs of your jeans
And he noticed
That you still fill out the quizzes
That they put in those teen magazines
But he kept it all inside his head
What he saw he left unsaid
And though he wanted to
He couldn't talk to you
He couldn't find the way
But he would always say
If I could tell her
Tell her everything I see
If I could tell her
How she's everything to me
But we're a million worlds apart
And I don't know how I would even start
If I could tell her
If I could tell her
Did he say anything else?
About you?
Never mind, I don't really care anyways
No, no, no just, no, no he said, he said so many things
I'm just, I'm trying to remember the best ones so, um
He thought
You looked really pretty, er
It looked pretty cool when you put indigo streaks in your hair
He did?
And he wondered how you learned to dance
Like all the rest of the world isn't there
But he kept it all inside his head
What he saw he left unsaid
If I could tell her
Tell her everything I see
If I could tell her
How she's everything to me
But we're a million worlds apart
And I don't know how I would even start
If I could tell her
If I could tell her
But what do you do when there's this great divide?
He just seemed so far away
And what do you do when the distance is too wide?
It's like I don't know anything
And how do you say
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
But we're a million worlds apart
And I don't know how I would even start
If I could tell her
If I could
As I finished I just thought about how sad it was he was telling her what he thinks and not what her brother had before he died. Putting my guitar away, I walked into the living room and decided to watch some Netflix. I don't know when but at some point I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know I'm being shaken (SHOOK) awake. I notice it's dark out. "Hey, time to go to bed. Its 10:00 o'clock," Ryan says to me. Yawning, I sit up. "Okay." As I open my door I turn around. "Goodnight, Ryan." He smiles at me. "Goodnight, Juliet." I get in bed and fall asleep.