Risk

Facing the Music

He rode the Rocket in from the ‘burbs. Although he’d been able to put them out of his mind for a few hours, his problems with Chet and Big Eddy and the other couriers resurfaced once he was alone on the train heading downtown. The decision he knew he had to make was the one that he most didn’t want to consider. So he felt stuck in limbo. And talking to Gina only made it worse, because he knew she was right, but couldn’t bring himself to admit it, because that would be it for being a courier. It would be over.

But he had to talk to her eventually. He couldn’t keep avoiding her like this, it wasn’t fair to her. He had called her from the hotel while waiting for Marty, but that was only to check in and let her know he’d be home soon. Stepping off at Union Station, he leaped up the steps three at a time and then quickly down Front to retrieve his bike. Getting his second wind after the earlier adrenaline rush, he booted it home and was there in less than half an hour. The light was still on in the bedroom.

“Hi, honey,” he called from the door after locking up outside. He opened the bedroom door and spoke more softly. “Sorry I’m so late. I had no idea it would take this long.”

“Uh-huh. It would have been nice if you could’ve mentioned on your message that you’d be going out afterward.”

“I didn’t know until we finished dinner.”

“That’s fine. This is not about you going out with your friend. We had some unfinished business from last night, and I expected you would have wanted to come right home to talk to me.”

“I did, but I couldn’t talk about it yet.”

“Oh, and you can, now?”

“I’ve thought about what you said, and I can see you've got a point. You voiced all the fears that had been in my head, but I didn’t want to admit it. Admitting that meant so many other things that I just couldn’t face right then. It took time to sink in, but I’m going to quit. You’re just going to have to let me take care of it in my own time. And trust me.”

“I do trust you. I just don’t know if you know these guys like you think you do. Everything has changed. Don’t let your guard down just because you think someone’s your friend.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t. I haven’t been to the bar in the last two nights. And I probably won’t go back there. I just haven’t worked it all out in my mind yet. But I’m taking tomorrow to give myself time to think.”

“They're going to know something is wrong if you keep on avoiding them.”

“I don’t care. Let ‘em wonder.”

“Good enough. Come here and hug me, now. I was so worried about you all day.”

“No need, see? Your man’s still in one piece.”

“Baby, I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

They made love then in that gentle way they did after having had a fight or being apart for a while. Luxuriating in each other’s skin, holding each other so close their whole bodies seemed to touch. Just needing that reassuring touch, the physical presence of the lover, and feeling the immediacy of each other’s need. And after, they held each other softly and quietly in the dark. Neither wanting to break the spell.