Guns and Giggles

22. Food and Friends

Video: Two reasons why we are single by The school of life

Honestly the title of this chapter is the only two things I care about in my college life!

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ARIANA IGLESIAS'POV

or should I say

ALICIA'S POV:

Another two weeks went by while I walked around like an empty shell decorated well.

I liked my new wardrobe, it was comfortable but I still missed my old one.

Everyone started calling me Alicia so I could get used to my new cover. My boss thought changing my last name like all other times wasn't enough. I missed the name Ariana. Yes it was my real name, yes I make my last names of my favourite pop stars but I always kept my first name.

I missed being Ariana.

I missed the people calling me that, moaning my name- in anger, in haste, in love, in lust.

Everything was new around me, new cases, new colleagues, except Oli of course. But the same pinching in my heart whenever I got lost in my thoughts. So I found a way to stop that.

I figured out that the pain was due to my thoughts and I had to control them, or atleast not let them affect me. I drank.

After the first few shots, I figured out that he'd probably not like the real me anyways. I'm not normal, I'm not stable. Yeah sure I can entertain people but never please them. I don't care enough. I don't need him. I'm too independent. I chose this lifestyle even though I didn't have a traumatizing backstory. That itself is something to worry about.

Welp! This wasn't working so I tripled them amount of alcohol I consumed.

I drank more than an average human is capable to drink without risking alcohol poisoning. But unlike others alcohol didn't give me pounding headache or blackouts. It made my brain go... silent. It felt like not even an echo could penetrate the silent I felt.

I was drunk through most of my cases, but I always called Oli to confirm everything went fine. Soon he figured it out I was really out of my freakin' mind to call him every freakin' time and he came over to throw everything away.

He called Beth the only other person who could handle all my ups and downs. He said she was pretending to be someone's wife while guarding him but she left in an heartbeat as soon as she heard.

"Fúck it! This shit isn't working Beth! I can't write out my feelings to let go, it's making even more depressed realising what I'm depressed about." I threw the book away in frustration.

She rolled her eyes and brought a cloth bag from her room which seemed to be bursting out of it's seems.

[A/n: Use reusable bags, say no to plastic people! Save the sea, save the earth, or you create problems for next generation's birth!]

"I knew you would give up so I had a backup" she turned the bag upside down and emptied it's contents on the coffee table which slide down to the carpet because there was just too much stuff.

"Treats?" I rolled my eyes.

"Foreign treats!" She exclaimed.

She knew me well.

"I know you love the challenges and the thrills but on the top of your list is the unknown sooooo... WE GET TO TRY THEM ALL!" She picked up an armful of treats and rained them on me.