The past that can't drag me down

chapter one

~writers note

I've made a story before, and it was a total flop, but im going to give it another go. This chapter may be shorter than what you might have wanted but there is a lot going on and it would be difficult to understand. Im no 0t an expert at these things, so please excuse me. It would be much appreciated if you point out the errors or typos in my writing. Hopefully I get many reads, and remember if you like it then please hit the vote button. And I'm looking for someone to make me a cover for this book, if you're interested than please messege me, I'll dedicate a chapter to those who help me out. Anyway.. we should get to the story.

The past that can't drag me down

Everyone was depending on me. It wasn't nervousness. it was much more than that. I was representing the whole school this year, something that I've never done. Something that I've never dreamed of doing. I'd much rather sit in the benches with the rest of the audience. supporting the participant. But its too late. This year I'm the participant, i'm the one needing the support.

I could see the teachers, approaching the tracks. She slowly raised her hand signalling for us to get into position. I knelt down. This was it, that was the moment. I tightened my grip on the ground. I took one deep breath. I took one last look at my supporters before the race. They waved their banners high up in the air as they start to chant my name. I felt light headed, and began breathing heavily. My vision blurred, and within moments, i hear the screaching noise of a whistle.

The cheering got even louder. I used all the strength in me and pushed myself up off the ground. I felt a stitch coming on, but i had the desire to continue running. Slowly, but steadily, i began breathing at a normal pace. A few more minutes and im at the finish line.

I lift my head up to look around. I noticed that i am way ahead of the rest of the contestants. I can feel the sweat buliding up on my forehead. This is the part when things become really intense. Adrenaline pumped through my system sending my heart into overdrive reminding me why im doiung this. I was determined to finish at 1st place, not for my sake but for my mums. I want to prove to her that after all the problems we've both faced together, i won't let it get into my way and stop me from doing the things i love. I want to prove everyone wrong. I want to show people i'm still the same girl as i was a few years ago. Before it all happened. 

Just a few metres away from the finish line.. memories begin to flow back 

*Beggining of flashback*

I stood there, looking up at him. He looked fierce, angry... like a lion nobody would want to tame, His eyes burned into mine. I could see the pain that he could feel. His eyes widened as he was gasping for breath. He clasped his hand against his chest. I could see his clentching fists turn into a deep ice blue colour, thats when i realised something is wrong. His bloodshot eyes kept looking up at the ceiling, as he mumbled something that i couldn't hear. He lay down onto the hospital bed. He seemed to be struggling to move his head, but he searched for a button with his arms. At this point his veins stood out and his skin turned pale. All of a sudden, he stopped moving. No movements whatsoever. He unclentched his fists and his arms fell down to the sides of his body. I remember the sound of a machine continously beeping. 

I could hear the sound of footsteps running down the corridor and into the room. Many doctors rushed into the room, along side them i noticed my mother. Her eyes filled with tears, which then rapidly fell down her cheeks. She looked over to me and gave me a suffocatingly tight hug. I furrowed my brows because i was confused at to what was going on.

*End of flashback*

Last few metres. last few minutes and last few steps. I lost focus. I lost my concentration. My mind wandered off on its own and i entered a whole different dimension. The memory kept playing in my head over and over again, as if i was watching a movie. My eyes began to blur, as the tears slowly gather above my waterline.  i could feel it. Failure. I know i am going to lose the race, due to lack of concentration.I fall to my knees and began tumbling over, back hitting hard off the ground several times. I lost my balance. I couldn't keep it up much longer, no matter how hard i tried. The atmosphere felt surreal, almost as if everything around me stopped and all eyes were on me.  To save me the embarrasment. i don't lift my head up off the ground. I stay curled up on the ground in pain. I could hear everyone, they all stopped cheering and everyone was stuck in utter silence. As happy as i am knowing i have their support, i know i dont need it. I don't need anyones support. I just need to believe in myself. I need mum to believe in me. Thats all i've every really wanted. Although i have other desires, like a big house, a nice car and enything money can buy... my mum comes first. And i wont stop till i've won my mum over.

Im not a family person, as i've only hrown up around my mum. Only one person, so thats not exactly a family. It was hard for me to make friends i've moved houses countless times, therefore i also had to tranfser to different schools. Thats one of the many reasins why i dont have the intentions of becoming close with anyone.

Anyway, the race. It felt like i was laying on the ground forever. I thought that by now, the school staff would come and help me.  but no. No one bothered. Its been a few minutes now, that my bare skin has been leaning hard onto the stiff concrete ground. I know that now, i have ti help myself up. It was difficult, almost too difficult...