Denouement

II

Letter II:
A Letter To My Go-To Person.

Tuesday, July 17 2018
2:50am

Dear P,

Among all my friends, you're the one I go to every time I wanted to tell a story. Whether it's about a boy that broke my heart, that funny video I found online, or even that weird shit I just defecated. No matter how bizarre or dramatic my stories were—you were there to listen. You always saw me as someone who is funny, deep and weird at the same time, but so are you. We stay at the same group of friends, and you always cracked jokes that made every one laugh. You're surrounded by people who genuinely loves you. You had this humour that everyone adored and maybe that's why you're the most liked person among all of us. You're just this person who's so good at talking to everyone and you always seemed so happy, I was too scared that my stories would make you feel sad.

Remember that time where I told you about this relationship that I was not certain about. I was scared because it was something new to me. I never thought that I would actually fall for someone. You saw it way before I admitted, that's the thing about you—you know me so well. When I spilled the beans (who says that), I thought you would stay away from me. I thought the friendship we had would change and you would look at me as someone you don't know. I remember staying up until 2am, with the same baffled expression and my tears would drip down my cheeks. You were there to comfort me, even if you had the shittiest signal and even if your WiFi doesn't seem to cooperate, you always found a way.

I told you everything I wanted to—before. Now, everything has changed. I learned how to keep my darkest secrets, I never told you anything anymore. I shut you out because I was scared that you might be bored and tired of listening to my rants and endless dramas. I don't want to lose you too, and even if you kept on assuring me that it's alright to tell you everything—I just can't. I realized that you have a life and you don't have to pay too much attention to whatever stories I have to say because you should be the one exploring and finding your stories. There came a time where I felt that I was a burden and that these problems no matter how big or small should be sealed.

The truth is, I'm scared that someone might steal you away from me, and that you would find someone whose stories and jokes are as interesting as ours. You aren't that person who always shared what you have inside your mind, especially when it comes to your feelings. (Wait, actually, the only thoughts you're willing to share are ideas of stupidity.) But good thing I know you as much as you know me. I can tell if something's bothering you. Everyone knows you as the person who always listened, and before this letter ends, I hope that the next time we chat, you're the one who's going to open up. I never want to force you into opening up, I would never. But, if ever you're ready to talk, just message me or feel free to flood my inbox.

You're my Go-To Person and I know that I'm just one of the fishes in your pond full of friends, but if ever you haven't found your Go-To person, it would be my honor to be yours.

Love,
Yhorman.