blurbs and oneshots

Roses and Whiskey (S.M.)

the gif above doesn't relate to the writing but I liked it lol. // warnings: cursing, angst?? lil bit of fluff.  posted on tumblr on, 2/20/18. song: fuck it by Jessie Reyes. word count: 913// story below!

     "Why was he here?" I thought to myself as I begin to turn around hoping he didn't realize it was me. I made it outside and leaned over the balcony, six stories up didn't seem too far right now. Sitting down, I let my legs slide through the bars of the fence hoping no one would come out and interrupt this moment.

     Until someone did, I heard the sliding door open as it lets a heavy song come from the room. A sigh came from the left of me and I glanced up, eyes connecting with the one person I never wanted to see again, Shawn. "You're lucky I didn't blow your brains out, fuck it" I laughed lightly as it was perfect timing in the song as he sat next to me. Silently, his pinky extended something we used to do on a constant, his pinky reached for mine but I didn't reciprocate. Tension hung high in the air, unresolved problems yet to be fixed were attempting to be cut through and both of us hesitant to accept it. 

     "Y/N please, it was a mistake." The tension growing between us as I still had yet to say anything. If he hadn't left on such a bad note I feel that I would've said something, but the way he left so sudden hurt, it felt that he was pouring acid on an open wound. Seeing him like this, so distraught, aches, but remembering what he had done made it less so.  I remember that night was the first time I had heard this song and the only thing running through my mind at the time was her line. "Roses and whiskey, I bet that you'll miss me," and here we are he was missing me, but all I could feel was the same too.
    "Why should I be the one to say something, Shawn? You're the one who left, the one who packed all the things one night and just left because you didn't feel like it was working! You left me, not the other way around and now you're crawling back, why? You couldn't find someone else to treat you the way I did?" I aggressively stated.
    "I left 'cause I thought it was over after the posts went viral. I thought that you wouldn't want me after they went around." He yelled.
    "I knew better Shawn. Just because she was hugging you didn't mean you were screwing her Shawn, I knew better, I knew you. Although clearly I was wrong since you just up and left after everything was going so right." My throat began to feel raw, as the tears were fighting their way in and all I could do was choke on the silence.

    "I only left because the rumors that were being spread were harsh, they said the worst things about you, when they thought I did stuff and it wasn't fair. You shouldn't have had to go through that and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't be a better boyfriend and help you when you saw those things. I should've confronted the issues and not left them completely, I regret it so much Y/N, you were the best thing I had, over the music, over the fame and now that I don't have you I no longer feel at all. Please just be mine again, I miss you, I miss us, i miss what we had, be mine please."

He was now crying and tears were brimming my eyes as well. He always had a way with words and I understand why he was such a good songwriter. I heard the song in the background, it was similar to how I felt now, but as I recall what our relationship was I truly did miss it, I missed him. The rumors of him dating a celebrity were taken too far by the press, they took it and twisted the story way more than it needed to be and I was hurt, I didn't respond to him for an hour, but when I woke up after my hour nap, he was gone. Not a trace left, so seeing him here now hurt, it was as if he never left but in reality, he did.  

     We sat there legs in the fence of the balcony, heads resting on the metal poles, his pinky extended, it went across his lap and went to mine. "Fuck it," Jessie Reyez sang in the background, and I found myself mumbling it too as our pinkies interlocked. I looked to my left, a small smile curling on my lips, the feeling of his warm hand in mine radiated happiness through my body. He stood, pulling me up to meet him, he engulfed me in a hug and I felt whole again. Sighing, we both let ourselves fall deeper into the hug, rekindling the flame that was once burnt out.