staring at the stars {Anne and Gilbert}

chapter one ~ shining stars

s h i n i n g s t a r s

when Gilbert was younger, his Dad used to wake him up late at night and drag him outside, Gilbert groaning and complaining the whole way, of course— he had just been mercilessly dragged out of bed, for heavens sake. his Dad would force him put on his boots and his coat and hat, and he would take his only son outside and help him to climb up onto the roof of the barn.

Gilbert always stopped complaining when they got out there. he would take one look up at the sky, and he was so mesmerized by the stars he was rendered speechless.

on an especially dark and clear night, they shone bright, like diamands sprinkled across the sky. he was so fascinated by them, the way they illuminated the sky, glimmering against the pitch black.

they would sit up there, and John would tell him about the stars and the planets, and Gilbert would listen intently, soaking up as much information as his brain could hold.

John would tell stories of his travels, how he used the stars to navigate his way around the atlantic ocean. Gilbert found himself so indulged in the stories, hanging on to every word his Dad said.

his Dad always had a fascination with the night sky. he loved to share that passion with his son, telling him all about the constellations above his head. he loved watching Gilbert's eyes light up, twinkling just as the stars do.

Gilbert now shares the same passion, and he can name all the constellations and point to them, just as his Dad could. he knows the planets, and he knows about the sun and moon, and how the earth rotates around the sun and how the moon rotates around the earth in an endless cycle.

he loves it, maybe not as much as his Dad, but a lot.

after a long day of feeling miserable and half-heartedly catching up on school work, Gilbert finds himself on top of the barn in the middle of the night. he comes up her some nights, since his dads passing. he finds the silence of the night and the beauty of the shining stars helps him to think clearly, without stress clouding his thoughts.

he stares at the night sky and thinks about Anne, about how she's just as beautiful as the stars, and how she shines just as bright.

he thinks about his Dad, wondering if he's in heaven right now, looking down on him. he closes his eyes and tries to imagine that. his parents are both together now, watching over Gilbert and making sure he's happy down here on earth. that's a comforting thought for Gilbert at the minute, knowing they're happy together.

everyday since that dreadful day his father passed away, he feels this emptiness inside himself. his life just feels so wrong nowadays.

it's as if he was writing a story, and it was going so smooth and everything was working out so perfect and then — his pen breaks, and ink leaks into the paper, spreading out and ruining everything in its path. he tries to get a new sheet and start writing more, but his pen breaking was just so degrading that his inspiration is gone and he no longer knows what path his story is meant to take, where he's meant to go from here.

he doesn't know what to do without his Dad. he knows he should be moving on, trying to get a hold of himself. he's meant to be mature, he's nearly an adult — he'll soon be 15. he has to fend for himself now, he's no longer a child. but he just doesn't know what to do without him here.

not only that, but he feels Anne slipping away from him. his Anne, his one true love who doesn't even love him back. he doesn't blame her, after the way he talked to her the day of the funeral. he regrets every word he said to her, and every word he didn't. she's slipping away from his reach, so far he worries she might be gone forever.

his so-called 'friends' aren't even taking him on anymore. he can sense they're getting sick of him moping around, not wanting to do anything. he can sense them getting annoyed, no longer caring about the fact Gilbert's father is dead. they all want the old Gilbert back.

if Gilbert's being honest, he wants the old Gilbert back too.

✩

| a u t h o r s    n o t e |
this was kind of depressing whoops. anyway!  this is the first chapter!
i hope you all enjoyed this :)
i will update once i get a few views and positive feedback, i have some hopeful ideas for this book <3
~ Ailbhe (its pronounced Al-va just so ya know) x