Belles

Hanna & Caleb

  i'm so sorry for taking literary for ever to post this chapter, but i was super busy those past weeks, and life's gotta get y, hope you guys like this one, haleb are kind of a tricky couple to write.  

A hand gripping the armchair next to her as the other one laid lazily on top of her stomach, her head tilted slightly to the side with a soft smile on her face as she watched her husband laugh genuinely for the first time in months.

Caleb had one arm on Toby's knee the other wiping away his own tears from all the laughing he's done, Toby's friend from work, a tall buff bald dark guy, was talking about how he convinced a criminal once that he was The Rock's cousin, he was hilarious, Hanna thought looking between the three men sat in front of her in the church's lobby where the bar was just a few steps behind them.

It was nice, seeing him happy like that, ever since she gave birth to their second child, Caleb has been distant, he loved his kids so much and he gave them all his time never complaining once, but he wasn't the same shaggy fierce boy she fell in love with any more, he was cold and far and when it was only the two of them, he seemed miserable, he stopped talking to her about most things, and soon she gave up on asking, their marriage has become dull, unhappy and the only thing they had in common anymore was the routine.

It was killing her, because she loved him so much, she has never felt that much love for anyone in her life ever like she loved Caleb Rivers, but they were at a point where love wasn't enough anymore, they desperately needed a change, so when Spencer sent them her wedding invitation, it was a perfect opportunity for them to be alone a whole weekend without work, kids or distractions, Hanna was hoping they could at least talk about their relationship, but since they arrived they never got a chance to be alone, and it was starting to annoy the blonde.

One of the many reasons her marriage was failing was her job, again, her business was raising rapidly, she had her own clothing line, which was expanding all over the world like fire, she had a new line in hand bags, shoes and just recently, perfumes, her bank account was barfing money, and with that her responsibilities rose as well, she was out of the country every two days for meetings, photo shoots, brand deals and much more, and saying that Caleb wasn't happy with that was an understatement.

He was supportive as ever at the beginning, he even used to take some days off of work to go pay her surprise visits or come along to some of her shoots, but then they had Iris, and he didn't want his daughter to be raised by nannies, he wanted her mother to be there for her, but of course that wasn't possible, then they had baby Rob and Caleb lost it, her work was her first priority, it was so important to her she couldn't just throw everything away to be a stay at home mother, and Caleb didn't understand that, he had a normal office job with limited hours every day, no wonder he didn't understand.

She really doesn't know when it went wrong with them exactly, she knows they pulled away from each other at some point, and she wasn't blaming Caleb for all of it either, she wasn't trying to fix it, she has pulled away too, they both did.

And deep down she knew that separation is what they needed in order to be happy again, but that thought scared her shitless, it scared her to imagine her life without him, it scared her to imagine living alone with a shared custody of the kids only to be in each other's lives like that, it scared her that if the kids never existed that nothing would've forced them to know each other anymore, it was all oh so terrifying so she pushed it away, she pushed those thoughts deep down and hoped with all her will that this weekend would fix everything.

Just as Hanna was about to engage in the conversation Caleb got up and out probably heading back to their shared bedroom, following him quickly she bumped into an annoyed Aria followed closely by Jason Dilaurentis..? What was he doing with Aria following her that closely? Hanna noticed they were probably arguing on the way in, filing that information for later, she will defiantly grill Aria for this, but for now she needs to talk to her pissy husband.

The second they reached their bedroom's door Hanna couldn't hold it in anymore, she started talking so fast getting everything out all at once, just like the night she got shit drunk on Arias bachelorette party and immediately threw it all up not even an hour later, like she was scared that if she stopped for breath that Caleb might disappear.

"Caleb! We need to talk and you can't shut me out or cut me off or say that you're tired or busy because I know you're not, so get in there and sit and listen to what I have to say, all of it till the very end or I swear to all my holey Prada's that ill scream so loud you won't be able to explain it to anyone" she was practically screaming her words at him her hands flying wildly around her "you changed on me Caleb! You're not the same boy I fell for anymore and I know I'm not the same girl you fell for ether, but I need you Caleb! I need my Caleb. You're miserable and so am I, we broke up before because of this and you're still doing it! You still want me to abandon my job, to give you my full undivided attention Caleb, why? Why are you always, that selfish why can't we just be supportive of each other, be ok together why are you throwing this marriage out the window? please!"

Just as she took in her breath and was about to continue her rant Caleb cut her off with his own yelling, which rapidly became an intense screaming match that almost everyone at church heard.

"Oh that's rich coming from you Hanna! You gave up on me, on us and our kids, or did you forget them too, huh? I was always and always will be supportive of you, and so fucking proud of you but not like that, not we come last, not even second, it's like you married your job and fame not me, I don't want ALL your attention Hanna I want some of it I'm not even getting that! The kids don't even know you for God's sake, my mother that actually literally abandoned me as a child knows me more than you do these days, and your mother is there for me and the kids way more than you've ever been since they were born! Do you see what it's come to Hanna? Just how toxic and fucked up our lives has become, and it's all us this time, as sick as it is, I actually wish it was A whose fucking with our marriage lately so I wouldn't have to blame you, so I wouldn't have to hate you"

He ended his rant with a sad soft whisper that actually broke Hanna's heart way more than everything he just screamed at her.

" you hate me?" she croaked back, a broken whisper shattering her from the inside out as she thought about Caleb, the love of her entire life, the man that was such a huge part of her life she'd actually be lost without him, the father of her children, hating her, she couldn't bare it.

He just stared at her, hurt obvious on his face, his eyes hard and pained, his face red with anger, regret and a bunch of other intense emotions, his mouth opening and closing a couple times like he was about to say something before he squeezed his eyes shut pressing the heels of his palms to his temples, he looked like her was on the verge of crying, like he was this close to break down completely.

Hanna watched him in complete silence, hot tears streaming down her face, pulling he mascara aggressively down with them, staining her pale cheeks with expensive carbon black polymers, creating an angry jet black ragged line on her rather pretty face.

She watched him as he took a deep breath before walking past her and out of the room, without answering her question, without even giving her a second glance, like she was way too hideous to look at.

And that's exactly how she felt right then, she felt hideous, she felt disgusting, she hated herself for letting him hate her.

She hated herself for a lot of reasons, she always had issues with herself since she was thirteen, since she was brutally abandoned by her own father, since Alison made her feel like shit about her weight and looks, since her step sister turned out to be the actual devil and yet her dad loved dear bitch Kate more than he ever loved her, but mostly now, she hated herself in this moment the most.

Because Caleb has never hated her, ever in all their years together.

And now he does, she pushed him this far, and she hates herself for it so much.

Hates herself.

Hates what she's done.

Hates this weekend.

Hates her job.

Hates Caleb's mother, that scheming little snake.

Hates all the circumstances that got them to this point.

But mostly, Hanna Marin hated her own damn self.