LOVE ME / OSH.

FIVE

ONE YEAR & SIXTEEN DAYS SINCE BAEKHYUN DISAPPEARED.

Birthdays were always a celebration for the group. There was normally a loud party with plenty of fun to go around. It gave them an excuse to let loose and do the bad things they usually did with an excuse this time.

This year was different though. When Chanyeol's birthday rolled around finally, Sehun was far from being in a party mood. He'd long lost his wild sideㅡthe thrills he used to experience had vanished. Feeling the blood rush through his veins wasn't a happy reminder anymore. It was more like a taunt that he was still alive.

Several of his friends had already messaged him about the event they had all planned for Chanyeol's birthday. Jongdae had lit his phone up once a day since Sehun had been on the fence about joining the others.

Sehun had managed to get out of the previous birthday parties, but supposedly enough time had passed that it was time he rejoined his friends.

Their conversations were short and typically went down the same way.

"Are you coming to Chanyeol's party?" Jongdae, it was always Jongdae, would ask after a minute of awkward pleasantries.

"I'm not sure yet." Sehun would answer, hoping to leave the topic there. However, Jongdae wasn't ready for that at the moment.

"You know Yeol would really like to see you. You haven't been around in awhile." Which was true as Sehun had been distancing himself from his friends lately, all except Jongin. He chose to immerse himself in work because that's all he had.

"I'll keep that in mind, hyung." The line would go silent for a minute. Sehun heard the clear frustration on the opposite end. There was no motivation to change it, though. He was so tired.

"We all just really miss you. It'd be good for you to get out and live a little. It's obvious you haven't been doing that since. . .since well you know." Jongdae finished awkwardly at mentioning the constant elephant in the room. It had been agreed upon mutually not to mention Baekhyun after it had been two months of him being missing. That's when his case became cold.

"I may have to work. I'll see." It'd take a few more responses from Jongdae before the call would finally end.

Sehun loved Jongdae, he seriously did, it just had become so hard to show excitement. It was hard to pretend to care about the little things. He couldn't manage more than one line answers. His brain wouldn't go further than that.

Sehun was actually rather close to Chanyeol. He didn't want to let hin downㅡany of them reallyㅡbut it's like Sehun's feet were covered in cement. The struggle to get up and do things was ever so apparent, and Sehun didn't possess the energy to fight against his mind.

A sigh escaped the boy's mouth as he walked into the back of the restaurant to start his shift. Sehun had accepted any offer of work to keep his thoughts busy. When Sehun wasn't moving and focusing on something else, his brain wandered to scary places. Old, fuzzy memories of bad experiences flooded behind his eyes.

Sehun spaced out, scrubbing meticulously at a dirty plate until it looked beyond brand new. His fingers were calloused and numb, but the feeling only fueled Sehun. It was comforting not to be bothered by anything.

Falling into a routine, Sehun didn't even notice time flying. He'd moved on from dishwashing to assisting the cook as dinner time rolled around. Between doing multiple tasks, Sehun hadn't realized that the restuarant had closed for the night. It wasn't until he'd finished the last of the rush's silverware that it dawned on him when the cook, Heejun, told him to head home.