My Story

The chat

She was seated in front of me. Her hair was tied into a messy bun. How long was her hair??probably till her hip or did she cut it again?? Reckless and messy as always. She was never bothered about her looks.  And the nose piercing,she did get it finally. She has always wanted it. And look at those tattoos man.. So many??  Probably she couldn't decide which one so she got it all.. Aah the madness she is.. Was that why I left her behind??  I dunno!! She was tapping a tune on the table..  What was the tune?? The tune of her heart that she always wanted to discover?? What do I tell her?? What do I ask her??  Is she here for the explanation why I left her??  Do I have one??
Her coffee arrived.. Strong black coffee and sugar according her mood. I remembered every detail of her. Probably I missed her.
" Have you ever been to Europe?? She asked excited".
"No. My duties keep me engaged."
"Oh please!! you always have explanations" she said disappointed.
"I did make plans...."
"You and your plans" she said rolling her eyes.
"You are never gonna make it if you keep postponing... Now is the time my friend go live."
"Please don't hit me with with cliches "
There was the silence again.  She was looking around my room as if searching for something.
"why did you come now?? " I asked unable to contain my excitement.
"To check you out" she winked.
I checked my watch. I was growing impatient. This was going nowhere. But somewhere I didn't want this to end either. There a happiness in seeing her sit there ...in peace with her self...taking the moment as it comes not being worried about anything.. Unlike me the fear of tomorrow killed me.
"What do you do now?? " I asked.
"I am a freelance artist" she replied
I mean for money.. What do you do for the money to travel and your daily expenses and stuffs what do you do??
She came closer to me as if to tell a secret and my heart beat started raising as if she was gonna disappear into me as if she was gonna put her influence on me. She smiled that enchanting smile of hers and said "That my friend this is what I do.. I paint to fuel my soul and thus I live" she said dramatically waving her hand in the air.
"yeah right " I said "you and your stupid philosophies!! "
"hey, you were the more practical one among us you tell me how far have you reached??"
"Me??  I m one of most sorted out paediatrician I have everything I ever wanted..i have a stable life.. I know exactly what is gonna happen next..  I have a great house.. It's a beautiful place you must visit sometime"
"And what about painting??  How long since you painted?? "
"Who cares about it?? It was just a pass time..it cannot buy me all the luxuries I have today"
"really is that why you used to paint earlier?? Didn't you call it your soul calling?? Wasn't that the one thing that helped to escape the reality?? "
"Exactly!! That's why I don't paint now I live in reality now... I know that nothing is gonna run without money and so I chose to be practical.. I knew that it was not gonna take me anywhere. It was a race I was gonna loose anyway so I chose a simpler and more reliable one.. "
"Call it the simpler one not the reliable!! For if you had trusted in your art it would have taken you places.."
"Did it take you??" I asked with a smirk. I looked at her once again and this time it was with a scorn and contempt. Her clothes were tattered. She was not groomed unlike me with clean clothes well groomed hair and looks. But she was beautiful in a way that I would never be and this made me hate her even more.
"it made me what I am today.. It gave something , beauty of which you will understand"
Hatred for her grew every moment. I couldn't handle the way she was sitting there carefree and happy. I was jealous of her. I knew it but couldn't accept it. Every moment with her reminded me of what she was and what I was not.
W"Why?? Out of all days why today why now?? Why did you come??"
"because I wanted to show you what is happiness.. I wanted you see what is freedom and that is not sitting here in this room with everything so secure it is about letting you lose... taking all the risk giving it all its worth and then discovering yourself there"
So did you find your happiness I asked with scorn without an attempt to hide my hatred
"Happiness is a journey my friend not destination" she said and smiled.
A smile that mocked me. There was a sparkle in her eyes that I knew will haunt me forever. Why did I abandon her??  Probably because I wasn't ready for the uncertainty... Probably I wanted a more settled life..probably I was afraid of change.. But change is inevitable isn't it???
There are more people out there waiting for the answers