Ambivalent Souls

Heal

Killian's POV-

The sun was starting to set on the horizon, leaving stains of ombré red in its path. I stood there a moment, on the docks next to my ship, and just watched the peaceful sky, setting over the calm water. Then my gaze shifted downward to the woman in my arms. And she too, looked peaceful. It was like the whole world was at ease, except for me.

I decided to let Regina sleep in my bed. I carried her to my Quarters and set her limp and unmoving body down gently before pausing a moment to admire her face. I reached out my hand to stroke her cheek and sighed.

Feeling exhausted myself, I climbed into the bed next to Regina, making sure to be far on the other side. I sighed again, something I found myself doing more and more often these days.

But when I closed my eyes, shutting out everything else, I was forced to listen to myself. I didn't know where Regina and I stood. That woman destroyed my hope. And yes, we were evil. Both of us know we were different people then. But we were evil together!

I had, multiple times, back in the Enchanted Forest, risked my life for her. And then I told her I loved her... which in my opinion, offers protection and comfort too. But she pushed me away like I was nothing. I was nothing...

And yet I couldn't bring myself to hate her. Truly hate her.

I shoved my thoughts out of my mind, now annoyed at how complicated things were and forced myself to sleep.

Regina's POV-

My eyes fluttered open. It was dark. Definitely nighttime. But I wasn't cold. I was warm and comfortable... and lying down. I knew I wasn't any longer in the Cannery.

My whole body felt weak. Like I had no energy. But a peaceful calm had settled over me, knowing that wherever I was, I was safe.

Once my eyes adjusted to the darkness and my mind fully awoke, I truly assessed where I was. I smelled the salty ocean, so that was something. And then I looked around.

In the dark, I saw the dim outline of a small room. It was all wood. A desk, maps, a chair. I looked down. I was on a bed.

Beside me was a large figure. Muscled and dark. I instantly knew it was Killian.

I was on his ship! I sighed, realizing he must've saved me. A small smile formed on my lips and I looked over to his sleeping face.

That was the man I love. Right there. I could feel his warmth and I could smell him. And in that moment, more than any other, I wanted my Killy. Wanted to be close to him and hear his heart beating in his chest.

So I leaned back down and cuddled up to his side, placing my hand over his beating heart. Tomorrow. Tomorrow I would tell him. And he would understand that I had to push him away. Wouldn't he?

Killian's POV

I woke up, opening my eyes to the calm morning light, filling my room. I immediately felt a small and warm body pressed against my side, and a little hand, well compared to me, resting atop my chest. I looked down and saw Regina fast asleep, by my side. She must've woken up in the middle of the night and snuggled close.

A small smile formed across my lips. This woman had broke my heart, but I couldn't help but think there was something else to it. I waited for her to wake up to ask her.

About 30 minutes later, Regina woke up next to me. She hadn't moved from where she was when I woke up. I sat up, cross legged on the bed, prompting her to do the same.

"So." I began, trying to not have to much emotion in my voice, having only said a few words to her since our 'breakup' more than 28 years ago.  "You were going to say something in the mines, weren't you?"

Her big brown eyes looked up at me and I felt my heart melt a little for her. "Uhh, yeah. It's the truth, I swear..." she spoke softly and took a moment to gather her thoughts.

In the moment she was thinking I decided to speak. "I'll believe you, you know. I can tell you have something important to say, unless you'd be telling me how worthless I am."

She gasped a little at my sudden rudeness. "Ok, Killian that's not fair-"

"Really, love? Cause I seem to remember you-"

"Just shut up and listen!" She snapped. I stayed quiet, deciding to let her speak. "Back in the Enchanted Forest, when I told you I didn't love you, Killian, I was lying. I had to make you want to leave me, so you'd escape the curse-"

My eyes went wide. "The curse?! The curse, Regina? You said you weren't going to cast it?" I yelled, now getting angry again.

A single tear slipped down Regina's cheek. Seeing this, seeing her, I tried to calm myself down as I waited for her explanation.

"Killian, I lied to you. Rumple," I clenched my jaw at the mention of the crocodile, "he made me. He said if I didn't cast my curse, he would kill you. I couldn't let that happen. I had to get you to leave me, to not be part of the curse. I couldn't let you suffer during the curse, I- I, couldn't live in a world where you were there but didn't know who I was. I'm sorry..."

I furrowed my brow, thinking hard on what Regina just said. I had told her I hated her! But she was just doing something for my own good! I should've known... I felt like an idiot.

"Why didn't you tell me about Rumple, love?" I asked softly, taking her hand in mine.

"I- ,You would hate him even more... I would lose you to revenge. We both know what we were like back then. Anything could make us go full kill mode."

I sighed. A reassuring calm settled over the both of us before Regina spoke again.

"I'm sorry, Killian. I love you, I know you probably still hate me-"

But before she could say another damn word I grabbed her and pulled her to me, kissing her hard. Our mouths moved with more passion than ever.

And our love came back.

Hi! I hoped you liked this chapter! Next chapter is called 'Starting Again'. But things are going to get a hell of a lot more complicated sometime in the next few chapters. ;)