Honey

Part 6

There's a boy at my new job. Well, not a boy. A young man. Jackson, 22 years old, just finished college, living with his parents until he can find an actual job. Raina likes him a lot and flirts uncontrollably. To her credit, he's handsome, somewhat amusing, and seems nice enough. I watch him out the corner of my eye as I count out the tips. He's leaning against the counter, talking to some old women who are giggly and happy to have his attention.

"Have a good day," he says, giving them a wave and turns to look at me. I quickly turn my head away, returning to the task at hand. "You're off now?" he says, coming up beside me.

"Mm yeah, you?"

"A half hour more for me. You got a ride home?" I shake my head. "I can give you a ride if you want? If you don't mind waiting."

I glance at him and then past his shoulder. Raina is coming from the freezer, a new box of fries in her arms. I look back at Jackson, he has kind eyes. "Yeah, sure, I'll wait then."

"Cool." I nod and he leaves me to finish splitting tips. I pocket mine and grab my stuff, going to change in the bathroom. I splash some water on my face and give myself a fake smile in the mirror. With the heat in the restaurant, I have some color in my cheeks. I look somewhat like my old self again. I'm dressed in one of my old staple outfits even, a pair of tiny cutoff shorts, a big Army t-shirt, and some Vans. I can't wear it around my mom or else she'll know I haven't been eating, but everyone else, I see the envy in their eyes as they look at my thighs, just two toothpicks. I leave the bathroom and let myself out the back, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and my lighter. I sit down on the hood of Jackson's car and smoke through three cigarettes waiting for him.

When he comes out, he's still wearing his black uniform shirt. "You know those things will kill you, don't you?" What a cliche. I stomp out the cigarette butt on the ground.

"That's the plan," I mutter and get into the passenger seat. He's got a hip hop station on the radio and I roll down the window, bopping my head half heartedly to the music.

"What's your address?" he says, breaking our silence.

"Hey, you mind if we stop and get some coffee?" I say, ignoring the question as we pass by my coffee shop.

"Yeah, sure," he says, making a quick left turn into the parking lot.

"Thanks," I say, giving him a small smile as we park.

Jackson shrugs, "Can I ask you a question?"

"I mean sure," I say, surprised.

"Why do you work at a fast food restaurant?"

"Hmm, I guess it's just nice mindless work," I say, climbing out of the car. "I like the money and just kind of unplugging my brain for a couple hours."

"But you're..." he says, his his flicking around my body. My tiny wrists. My tiny thighs. The contours of my face. "Never mind." I watch him rub his scruffy face in concern.

I bump his arm with my shoulder. "I'm okay." He glances at me with such an earnest look in his eyes that it stirs something in my stomach. His golden brown eyes meet my deep chocolate eyes. I turn away before he can even attempt to chip at the cold facade I've wrapped around myself like a security blanket. Or wear like armor. He would find that it was thicker and colder than he ever expected. He would get frostbite in the effort.

He holds the door for me like a gentleman. I think about why I accepted his ride. Why I prolonged it with the proposal of coffee. I buy him a cup and one for myself. As I sip at it, I tell myself it's because I like messing with Raina. Yes, she would be furious to see me here right now. I like to irritate. I like to manipulate. I like to bare my teeth and bite the people who get too close.