brother's bestfriend || g.d

s i x

TRIGGER WARNING!
*READ AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE END*
xxx
[ KAYLA'S POV ]
I tried calling Ethan 3 times, but his phone went straight to voicemail. I didn't know where he was and I hadn't seen him at all, anywhere after he left school.

I was worried, he's never been like this before. It hurts like hell and all I can think about is how I mean nothing to no one.

I'm useless, Grayson is probably just using me for a good round in bed. Who knows, everything he told me could've been a lie, and our sex was just for pleasure.

I had very few friends, my closest being Emma Chamberlain. She was hilarious, and beautiful as well. She wasn't popular, but she'd always had a huge crush on Ethan.

I never told him because I wanted her to have a good life since mine wasn't. My parents were always working, they worked while I was at school and I was always asleep when they were home.

Emma had blue eyes, and a tired look that made her even more special. She had dirty blonde hair, and surprisingly straight teeth.

She was on vacation in LA, with some family. She wanted to move there, with me, so we could go to UCLA together. Ethan wanted to go there too, so we all probably would've moved together.

I missed her, shes only been gone for a few days, but we haven't texted much because we're normally always together.

All I had was Emma and Ethan, but now I don't even know if Ethan's in my life anymore.

All I do is fuck up. It's so hard living life as a mistake, no one understands.

My thoughts fill my head as I fall asleep, never letting a single one slip away.
***
I wake up to the sun blazing through my window, and it hurts my eyes like a bitch.

3 days.

It's been three days since Ethan and I have talked, and the same with Grayson.

On Friday, the day after we had sex, he ignored me. He treated me like shit and laughed at me, and even purposely tripped me and pushed me into my locker.

I knew it, I knew all along he would use me.

It was Saturday, and I couldn't get in contact with anyone.

This is too stressful, everything that's been happening is too much, all I can do is think again.

All of his words stuck to me like glue.

"You dumb bitch, you really think I liked you? It was a bet, you don't mean anything to me." He said, and even replaying it in my head causes my head to spin.

I decide to shower, even though taking care of myself isn't exactly a priority to me right now.

I let the steaming water run down my back, causing my shoulders to relax. I don't even realize I'm crying until I feel my eyes burn from being open to long.

I've become numb. I was so vulnerable to the one guy I've always loved, and I let him have me. I cost myself the special friendship I had with my bestfriend.

Why couldn't I just listen?
***
As I'm stepping out of the shower, I notice the familiar, silver glint that I used to love seeing when I was younger.

I slowly walk up to the counter and carefully pull the blade out of the razor as I sit down on the ground.

I start crying and breathing heavily as I pull the blade across my wrist, a smile playing across my lips as I feel the pleasure in the pain.