Dolan Twins Imagines

feelings are fatal ⌁ grayson

lyric video made by 1-800-LOVE-U

i'm lying on the bed with grayson. we're looking up at the ceiling, watching the color of the room change from a warm orangey-yellow to a cool blue-grey color as the sun sets. it's like any other saturday night with my best friend in my quiet house.

i feel something move across the sheets, and then his fingers touch my palm as they move down to intertwine with mine. my breath gets caught in my throat and i go silent.

"can i ask you something?" he asks.

i turn to look at him to discover he was already looking at me. the lighting makes his eyes look dark, almost black, and his chest rises and falls slowly as he breathes.

"of course," i say softly, feeling nervous.

i see his eyes twinkle "has there been something on your mind? maybe, something you've been going through that you're scared to talk about?"

i sigh and let go of his hand, rolling over so that my back is facing him "can we keep that door closed?"

"no, i want to open it," he says, scooting towards me and resting his forehead on my shoulder. "please, i want you to be open with me."

i shake my head as my eyes well up with tears "no, i can't do it."

"yes you can," he says.

i feel the bed shake a little and i sit up, hugging my knees to my chest and looking at the brown haired boy with his arms wrapped tightly around my waist.

"no gray, i can't trust people," i say sharply. "i have tried before, it never works out for me."

he sits up "but you can open up, you just have to trust me."

i shake my head and the tears start to fall "don't you see that i can't? grayson, you hurt me so much cause you know i have these feelings for you, but you treat me like an old buddy from grade school and flaunt all these girls around me and all i can do is sit there and pretend to be happy for you! the truth is though, i am dying inside, gray! you are killing me!"

he starts crying too "i didn't know!"

"but you did know! you did know cause i told you one night that i love you with all my heart, and you ignored me!" i get off the bed and stand in front of the window, looking down, not being able to cry anymore. "you have hurt me more than anyone, grayson dolan. you have broke me down and walked all over me because you can and all that i have been able to do is sit here and take it and pretend to be happy, when even your brother knows i'm not, but i haven't been able to open up because my feelings are fatal, grayson."

"but you could've told me these things, i would understand!" he starts to raise his voice.

"how grayson?" i turn around and shout. "how could you possibly understand that it kills me to see you with the girls that you have been with and for some of them to hurt you and for me to help pick up the pieces to only sit in the friend zone like an old knick knack on your grandma's fucking shelf!?"

"because i love you, okay!?" he's screaming now. "i have loved you for years, but you are such a nice girl that i am scared that i could ruin you and the way you think of relationships and love, because that is the kind of guy i am!"

i'm speechless. i can't help but fall back against the wall and slide down to the floor. the tears start again as i look up at him. he looks like such a beautiful mess with his hair wild from when he was pulling on it while my back was to him and how he looks just a little a blurry from my tears.

"you confuse me," i whisper. "you make me sad, happy, lifeless, and spirited. it scares me."

"but you finally opened up," he whispers back.