Meant to be

I would never hurt you.

I've always known that i was just born in the wrong family,city, country or maybe even universe.
I'm trying not to talk with anyone about my family problems, because it just hurts too much and i just feel like the moment i say it, it's gonna become reality and i will have to realize that i don't have a happy life.
But for now i want to think about people who stand by me. Maria? Yeah she's my source of positive energy.
She held me the whole night. I cried so much, that my vision was pretty blurry every time i tried to look at her and then i just fell asleep. It was pretty quick and probably was for the best.

   Right now, i'm just getting ready to go home and try to move on from everything. It's just so weird that sometimes people mean so much to you and by that you just give them the power of ruining you in a second. 
  I can't even think about him, because his stupid smile and stupid smell just makes me want to have him by my side. That's probably because when i'm sad, i try to next to him.

  I just wanna know if she's prettier than me? Or is it because i'm just doing something wrong? It doesn't add up just why would someone who's supposed to love you the most, hurts you the most?

   - are you sure you wanna go home today? Maybe we can just stay in bed all day , cry and eat?
Maria's just being herself. But who am i even lying to? This just sounds like a heaven right now.
- Maria, stop trying to seduce me. I know how good can you be at that, but can you somehow persuade my father to be understanding and i don't know a good one in general?
- ugh, you and your daddy issues
Alrighty, now you probably know Maria. Always making uncomfortable jokes and making things awkward. To be honest she doesn't really know all of my story so i don't blame her for her weird jokes.

No, it's not that i don't trust her or something. It's just i don't want to make her life complicated. She's such a happy and carefree and she makes me feel the same way. If she gives me the worried looks every time i talk to her, i'm just gonna feel like I'm supposed to be sad.

  There goes Aaron, Maria's brother. He's 2 years older than me and we have known each other as long as I remember. We're pretty close since i'm at Maria's house all the time.
  - you know, i heard your weird.. idk.. sobbing voices?? Was is human noises tho?
- wow, you're so kind and sweet for totally not making fun of someone else's sadness. Not really impressed, Aaron.
- ugh stop Anna. I was just trying to make you talk about it. You know that i will listen to you all the time right? And if i have to watch your pretty face while doing it then i'm all ears.
- can you stop flirting with her already? She has a boyf..
That's weird. I don't know if i'm single or not but that's only up to me right? That should be easy because i don't know how can i forgive someone who broke my heart so easily. But what if when it heals it still want to go back to him?
- okay, before things can get any more awkward, i'm just gonna go home. Love you, M.

   Since me, Nika and Maria are neighbors, i'm just really gonna try and walk faster to my house, so i won't bump into some lying, cheating assholes around.

Shoot, yeah maybe i won't run into him, but his friends have to be out here all the time.
  - hey, Annastasia, come over here.
  Ugh as if. What a nice gesture.

- well not in the mood today?
Luke, Nika's best friend, walks towards me with a weird smirk.
- wow, we have a sherlock holmes over here.
I'm in a hurry, Luke. So make it quick and worthy.
- jeez, just wanted to invite you over my pool party. I would really like to see you there.
And he just walked away.

  Since when does he think i go to parties? I'm too lazy to do something with my face or just to be an outfit and uhmmm imagine my dad's face when i tell him that i'm going to some pool party with boys.
Yeah, that picture isn't really what everyone wants to see.

Finally i made it to my house and at least one nice thing happened today. My dad's not at home.
You have no idea how happy i get when this happens. It's like i'm finally free for a few hours.
I just wanna go to bed tho. Every time i have a problem, i just solve it by sleeping, so here we go.
I had a nice dream about my mum. I just wish she was here now. I can't really talk to her on the phone because my dad won't give me a number, but i hope she's gonna come back to me and take me away from this hell.
I didn't realize what woke me up, until i heard the noice again.
It was a doorbell. How cool my dad must have forgotten his keys, yay i will have to talk to him today.

I got up as quick as i could but i just freeze when i see person standing behind the door.
Nika, i don't know why, but every time i feel his presence or i look at him, it's just excites me. Makes me just feel like i'm happy.

You know probably i'm holding onto him because, everything around me is horrible and he makes me forget about it and make me feel completely opposite?
- i will do literally anything for you. I messed up a big time and i'm soo sorry, if i could just rewind time, baby, believe me i would. But i'm such an idiot and i just did something so horrible. But you know me, and you know how much i love you, i would never do such a thing if wasn't drunk. Baby, you're my sky.

And i just closed that damn door. He continued to apologize but i just couldn't hear it.