I'm perpetually locked in a prison of my own skin
Decorated with insecurities
I'll never see me the way you do
Staring at a mirror
Left isn't right
Neither is the body I live in
Whose eyes I will never see
Whose voice I'll never know
Whose smile I'll never meet
I'll never see me the way you do
So I will believe you when you tell me
Ugly
Annoying
Worthless
Stupid
Stop
Pretty?
I'll never see me the way you do
I kindly acknowledge this as I walk away
To this prison of mine I possess
Scars
Every mark I make is mine to keep
Though they fade too alongside
Reels of memories, fantasies and
Silent thoughts bound
To escape me
Love never leave me
Words
Whisper within me
Keep me from lonely
Makes me feel lonely
Only more lonely
If only I could tie together my
Thoughts and my
Words and my
Voice
I could be a bit less lonely
Notice- and listen-
Hear my empty honesty and reply
Pretending again
Truth escapes when you listen
See my smile, my clothes, my face
Pretending again
Notice I'm not fine
Anguish flickers from this facade
You'll never see me the way I do
Only the remnants of yesterday project
On frosted broken glass
I wield the hammer
I'm holding the key
I'm frozen, she says,
I can't be free
So make me-
You made me-
She makes me
Free?
Only to return as a prisoner of
My heartbeat slow or racing
My breath I inhale, exhale, hyperventilate
My hunger
My highs
My demon
Myself
You'll never see me the way I do
Because I hide away
Memories
Darkness
Love
Unspoken words
Are blades
Too sharp
No shield
Just cut right through
My scars again
You'll never see me the way I do
Helping hand
I'll cut you too
Unless I return to this perpetual prison
As a prisoner of myself.
YOU ARE READING
still sinking
PoetryIf the monsters of my mind manifested into poetry, there are no greater weapons than the words I write to defeat them. We've all been through dark times so let me take you through mine.
