Only Hope

Chapter 1 - The Bomb.

Edinburgh, August 18, 2018.

The rain was bucketing it down against the bleak, grey skies as Chris flipped the toast out of the toaster.

"Dammit. Two slices of - ahem - 'extremely crispy' toast coming up!" he announced.

I flipped on the television and stared blankly at the news anchor as I buttered the charred slice of toast. More news about the war. What I would have given for a day without mention of it. I reached for the remote, but Chris stopped me.

"Holy shit. Did you hear that?" His voice cracked a little.

I looked over at him. He was trying to hide the fact that he was shaking, but it was no use. I looked over to the television and sat in silence, listening, anxious.

"...at approximately 8:31, this morning, a large atomic bomb was dropped on London. The death toll is estimated to be over two million..."

"NO!" I screamed. Without thinking, I hurled my mug through the air. Hot coffee flooded all over the table, and the mug shattered the screen and all the horrible news it brought into thousands of tiny shards of glass. Without a word, I ran out of the room and covered my face, sobbing.

I heard Chris's footsteps behind me as I ran up the stairs. Increasing my pace, I made a beeline for the bathroom, slamming and locking the door shut behind me. I could hear Chris banging on the door, pleading me not to do anything stupid. I fell to the floor on my knees. I just wanted to shut out the world and forget it all.

Five minutes later, and I was choking on my own tears. The rain was beating down on the murky, frosted windows but the sound didn't quite drown out Chris's shouting.

"Natalie! Natalie! Please come out, I'm begging you!" I could just about make out him sobbing too. He wasn't giving up on me.

I finally opened the door and collapsed into his arms. "You're okay. You're okay!" I could make out a faint smile through his tears. He hugged me tighter, not letting go.

It was still the morning but Chris carried me up to bed and tucked me in. He pulled over a chair and sat beside me.

"I...I can't go through this," I stuttered through the tears, "It's all around us. People are dying every day. In...Innocent people. Like... Like... Like us."

"Natalie..."

"Chris..." I felt the tears well up in my eyes. "I still remember the day that...when... Dad... died. I don't want that ever again. Since it happened, you... you became more than a brother to me. You care for me like I'm your... your own daughter, not just your sister. And I never want to lose you."

"Me neither." He shuffled onto the bed and put an arm around me.

I looked him in the eyes. "Chris...Promise me, you'll never fight in the war."

He looked back into my eyes. "Natalie, I promise. But you, promise me you'll never overdose again. Promise me you'll never be taken over by depression again."

I looked down at my wrist, covered in faded, white scars. "I promise."

"Good. I could never stand losing you."

I managed a smile. "Me neither."