Just The Words In My Head

i believe in you ;

Listen to your heart. It's beating isnt it? After every goddamn thing that you've been through. Every stab. Every pain. Every tug and pull. Every mark, every painful twisted scar. It still beats. Whether fast or slow. It still beats. For you. It forgives you. For the hurt. For the pain. It hasn't given up on you. Your heart hasn't given up on you.

Your arms. You've hurt it. You've scarred it. You've put it through pain. Made permanent marks on it. And it's still there. It always forgives you. It still heals. It heals. For you. It hasn't given up on you. Your arms haven't given up on you.

Your hands. You've used your hands to hurt the body that's been made just for you. Marked, toyed, scars. You've used your hands to disturb, to change, to modify your body. And yet your hands are still there. They still do immense good. They still are soft. They still heal and they heal you. You've used your hands to hurt the body it's been made to protect yet it forgives you. It still heals you.  Your hands haven't given up on you.

Your stomach. The one you may or may not sometimes starve. The one you may or may not hurt from time to time. It still protects you. It still gives you the food your body. It still heals you and your body. You've hurt it. Yet it heals. Yet it heals you. Your stomach hasn't given up on you.

Your thighs. Oh, the thighs you wish were smaller. You've marked it too, hurt it too. Yet it's there. Securing your bones, wrapping you up nicely. Healing you. Protecting you. It forgives you. It still heals you. Your thighs haven't given up on you.

Your entire being. The being that's been hurt. By you. By others. The being that's been stepped, scarred, torn apart. The being that's been through the dark, through the thorns, through the rain and the storms.

Your entire being. Physically.  Emotionally. Mentally. Hasnt given up on you yet.

Through everything that it's been put through, shouldn't it have given up a long time ago?

What makes you think you can give up on the being that still loves you, still protects you, still heals you, still forgives you, through the things you've been through and done to it?

It isn't going to get better. It really isn't.  There going to be days you're gonna wanna rip that window grill open and just jump. There are going to be days where that penknife or knife is just so goddamn appealing. Or starving yourself seems the only way to go. And there will be days that your friends drive you nuts or your mother is pushing you to your limits but you know what? You've done it. You've already made it. Whether you relaspe through it or I don't know what or how but the fact that you get up, survive, smile, laugh, eat, feel and even just breath is enough.

You've done it. You can do it. You will do it. I am cheering for you. Always.