Fiona and the Werewolf & other Short Stories

beware of mountain bears

3: beware of mountain bears
"i want to be a writer

and joey is a genius. i'm sorry he couldn't be here

but he's so good with words it drives me crazy

and he also does things specifically to drive me crazy

but yeah we're pretty much a perfectly normal couple"

the woman in the pantsuit looks down at her clipboard then back up. the smile she wears looks practiced.

"and why is it you'd like to adopt a child?"

"it's been just the two of us for so long, we decided that this would be our best option to bring a little bundle of joy into our lives." the two women exchange more smiles fresh from rehearsal.

the one in the pantsuit lets out a sigh of relief. "okay so honestly that went so so good omg sorry i had to be so cold." she lets out a laugh.

she's a little dumb huh?

she looks down again very excited to make the interview more informal.

"so Madecyl. wow haha! did i say that right? Madecyl?"

"yes" Madecyl says through clinched teeth

"wow? really?!" the pantsuit woman asks, ignorantly.

"uh-huh" more teeth clenching "say it three times too fast and your eyes will fall out of your head."

a bellowing laughter erupts from the young pantsuit woman

"not a joke"

the laughter amplifies until the woman is wiping tears from her eyes and sighs.
you know. one of those satisfied sighs.

"Okay! My name is Amy! but i guess you can call me amycyl! i was born and raised right here in the city" she thrusts her hand in the direction of Madecyl's unamused face. "i really don't care." she says as she shakes the hand of the pantsuit woman.

wow this lady can laugh

"you're so funny! okay so one more question before we're done here."

a man, who Madecyl had concluded was a lawyer and in desperate need of sleep, perks up in his seat in the back of the room.

"you and joey were reported as the first people at the scene of a horrible accident. actually the only people. anyway, for legal and criminal reasons, not that i think you're a criminal, but we need to hear from you what happened."

the pantsuit lady looks up again from her clipboard, this time not with a plastic smile or tears. this time her eyes wear genuine curiosity and a hint of guilty excitement.

"so whaat happened?

what killed those people?"

********

"i don't get how stealing a car fits into some master plan!" Madecyl looks worriedly at her husband who had found a beautiful white car left unattended by a couple using the bathroom at a rest stop and for whatever reason was driving very slowly away from the scene of the theft.

"just watch." he flashes a golden smile. joey didn't need to practice his smiles. he winds slowly up the mountain road until he can see the couple return in the rear view mirror. they look shocked at the sight of the empty spot where there car had been and then even more shocked at it zombie crawling up the road.