FUCKBOY ( kuwonu. )

xxxxvii.

My heart was racing as I waited for him to say something. He stared at me in shock, completely speechless.

"I told you I would never hurt you." He said breathlessly, shaking his head as he tried to think of what to say.

I ran a hand through my hair, leaning back on the sofa. "You really fucked that up then, didn't you Z." I sniffed loudly, wiping the tears from my eyes. I promised myself if I ever talked to Zion again I would never let him see me cry, and I'm breaking that promise just like he broke his. "Cause I'm fucking hurt, Zion. My mama told me that I'm too strong to let a boy break my heart, but she was wrong." 

I took a minute to steady myself. Zion just watched. He watched as I fell apart, pouring my heart out. "Nine months ago I met you and I thought you were just some wannabe. I would never have thought that I could get so addicted to one boy's smile. Or touch. I never knew that all I would need to cheer me up is hearing your fucking laugh on the other end of the phone. I would fall asleep on hot nights wrapped in one of your hoodies because having your scent there was the most comforting thing in the world. I was so addicted to falling asleep in your arms that suddenly it was impossible to sleep without you. I love you Zion. But I fucking hate you for how bad you hurt me. We never dated. You were never mine. But those nights we spent together, when you told me I was yours and that I was the only thing ever on your mind, you made me feel like you felt the same. I thought that maybe one day, we could happen. I told you I wasn't ready but I was hoping you would fight for me, cause casual sex was never enough Z. I'm so addicted to you, Zion Kuwonu." I shook my head, and Zion inched closer to me. 

"But you went and fucked me over with the help of one of my best friends." 

Zion stopped, he looked hurt. I wanted him to hurt, to feel how I had been feeling these past few weeks just wondering why I had been so stupid to fall for him.

"Solena I'm so fucking sorry." Was all he could say. I swallowed, looking up at him and waiting for him to continue.

"Because you're not gonna believe a word I say." He groaned, rubbing his hand over his face in frustration. "I was never with Kayla, Sol."

"I'm not a fucking idiot Zion." I scoffed.

"Why would I do that to you, Sol? You really think after everything I would go and fuck with one of your best friends? Yes, I talked to Kayla. You wanna know why though? You posted a picture with her and another guy, a guy who you seemed too close with. I had to make sure you were single, so I dmed her and we clicked." 

I wanted to believe him, but why would he admit it anyway?

"Yes, I flirted with her a little and I feel like fucking shit for that but that's all Sol. You're my girl, not her. You're the one I wanted all along. I never wanted to complicate anything between us, Sol, because I loved you from the moment I started talking to you. Kayla means nothing to me. I've never been with her Sol, never. In the time we were hooking up you were the only girl. I fucking promise Solena. I swear to God." His voice broke, and he put his head in his hands. "I don't know what you were told or why you were told that but I said to you I wouldn't hurt you and I'm not just boutta change my mind like that."

I watched him closely, the way he ran his hands through his dreads in frustration as he tried hard to explain to me his side of the story. There was so much hurt in his gorgeous brown eyes, and for a moment I felt bad.

"What am I supposed to do, when the one girl who means the world to me just shuts me off for no reason whatsoever? What can I do? My entire world fell apart that day. From then on I was broken."

"You really didn't do anything?" I asked cautiously.

"Sol of course not. Would I really have said all that to you if I did?" His eyebrows were furrowed, tears building up in his eyes. I hated seeing him like this. I wanted to hold him. "Fuck, I love you Solena." He muttered, and that was all it took.

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HI this was honestly so shitty and badly written so ima give y'all another chapter for getting this to 90k and trust me y'all gonna like it a lot ;)