Kings of Hell • Crowley x Dean • Castiel x Dean •

• chapter ten •

Dean Winchester has forgotten that bars existed, and it had only been a day. He was walking around a small town, about eight miles from the hotel; dressed in maroon, and hair with an excessive amount of gel for charm.

It was an unusual thing for him to do, walk. He normally drove everywhere. But he wasn't stealing another car. Where would he go? He needed a quiet place to think, and kill.

Yes, Dean thought. Killing would distract him.

Dean had lost count how many times he had called Cas. He could feel himself turning soft. The way Cas made him feel inside.

He was furious with Crowley. How could he disobey him?

Right when Dean put his phone back in his pocket, it started to vibrate again.

He picked up the phone to Crowley.

"What the hell is wrong with you?! I told you not to do something, and you did it. You played with me, I'm done"

Crowley sighed, his accent was as attractive as ever, "It was something I did to make sure I wouldn't lose you. Come back now, Dean. It's your last chance."

"I can't forgive you," Dean shook his head, "Not after that."

"Dean-"

He hung up and left the King of Hell in confusion.

The day went slow. Dean was lost. He didn't know how he felt anymore. He didn't want to belong to anyone, he wanted to be alone. Because that's what he was, a loner. However something inside of him told him that he was meant to be with the angel. The person he used to be, before he turned dark and infected. The side that Dean hid from public.

Dean's ringtone sounded again, finally, it was Cas. They were both silent for a minute. Neither of them knew what to say.

"Stop pushing Sam and I away." Cas breathed

"The problem is, Cas. There's no demon in me. I am the demon. I lie, I cheat, and I kill. And I enjoy it. Every single second."

"No. This isn't you"

"Keep telling yourself that."

"And Crowley? He told me..-"

"What Crowley said is bullshit. I want you back, Cas."

"I want you back too, but not like this."

They went silent for another minute, then Cas spoke up, "Were you ever going to tell me?"

"Don't ask me that."

"How did you feel, Dean?"

"I felt fine. I'm still in love with you, Cas. Despite how I've been, that's never changed."

"You had sex with Crowley!"

Dean stayed quiet.

"Couldn't you see what he was doing to you?"

"It was my choice."

"I don't know if I can do this"

"You're not leaving me, are you?" Dean's head pounded

The next thing that Cas said, made Dean's hopeless heart shatter into countless little pieces.

"I can't love you. Because I don't know how anymore."