Breathe Me. 'A Mishandling Love Story' *on hold*

Breathe Me ~ Intro

Breathe me ~ Intro

Hi. My name is Annabella. You could say that i'm not a "normal" 15 year old girl. I don't have a boyfriend. Let me rephrase that. I've never had a boyfriend. I don't have any friends. I'm perfectly content being by myself. I like to keep my distance from people. I don't know why. I guess.. i guess it's because i'm afraid to get hurt. Thats how i've been my whole life. My dad died when i was really young.  Huge Car accident. Right after my dad passing, my older brother nathaniel blamed me for the whole thing. He said it was my fault, and if i was never born, dad would still be alive. Those words hurt. They burn deep inside, but of course, he doesn't know that. i won't let him know that.

After verbally abusing me, it changed to physically. Being beaten everyday really changes you. It does. Now, i wish that he would go back to name calling. Because this is just too much to handle.

But i put up with it. Why? Because i'm small, and weak. I don't have an outside voice that i can use. I wouldn't dare use it to my brother. Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah.. the beatings. 

After a few weeks of torture, i finally went to my mom. I never had a "special" relationship with her. We never had girl time, talked about personal things, went shopping, ect ect. We were just mother and daughter. No bond, whatsoever. It was my dad that i loved. He was the one to make me feel better. The one to give me courage. I think i'm pretty brave. For the most part. I got it from him. He was a real daredevil. He was truely amazing. 

So when i went to my mother, of course, she didn't believe me. She had to claim that her "precious little son" would never do such a thing. I tried to convince her otherwise, hell, i ever showed her the scars and bruises, but even that didn't work. She told me that i did that to myself because i hate  nathaniel  , and i'm trying to frame him. She got so angry with me, she slapped me. Right across the face. Full power. She said sorry at first, but i didn't believe it. I just went to my room, soundless.  I had no one. I  am no one. 

Anyways, nathaniel soon found out that i went to our mother, and told her what had happened. I told him that she didn't believe me, but he was too hard to convince.  He gave me a beating of a lifetime, and told me that if i ever go to anyone and tell them what happens in our house, he would kill me. He told me this right in my eyes. No holding back, no bluffing. 100% honesty. 

I was scared, and helpless. But that was a long time ago. Now that i'm 15 years old, i have some sense of mind. Yup, he still beats me. And guess who else? My dearest mommy.  I help ease the pain by cutting. I cut everyday. My arms are pretty screwed up. Yes, I have thought of killing myself, but then i think, and come to realization. Somebody in this world one day, somewhere, is going to love me, or atleast care. So for there sake, i'll stay alive. For now.