Unforgotten Desire.

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I walked away from Raphael and it felt God damned good. I was glad that Raphael came back into my life; he showed me how desperate I was for him and how much I craved him. At one point I would have done anything for us to be us again. A second ago those cravings were coming back as he pushed me against the wall. It was a good thing I listened to my brain and walked away because my heart and my body wanted Raphael. my heart wanting him to fill the emptiness there and my body, well let's just say him pushing me against the wall like that had sparked a fire that had went out years ago.

Raphael had held the pieces of my heart for far too long. It was time for me to let go of the past and he was my past. Over the years I had circled my life around the fact that Raphael was no longer a part of my life. I let myself go, and in doing that I lost my identity and forgot who I really was. I no longer wanted to be that girl with a lost identity, I had found me again and someone would have to be fucking amazing to change that. I really and truly wanted to let go. I don't really care about getting his attention anymore.

I jumped in my car started it and turned my radio up.
And it was a God given coincident that the song that was playing expressed how I felt.
I turned my radio to the Max and headed home, I was actually happy and I wanted it to stay that way.

"I got this feeling on the summer day when you were gone I crashed my car in to the bridge I watch I watch I let it burn I threw your shit into a bag and pushed it down the stairs, I threw your shit into a bag, I don't care! I love it, I don't care! I love it, I love it" I sang along to the chorus as I pulled into my garage.
Ignoring Raphael was going to be hard but it was going to be worth it.

Raphael's P.O.V

When I saw her walk into the conference room that Monday morning my heart skipped a beat. I had no idea that would be working for the company that I now owned and of all positions she could of have, her badge was labelled personal assistant.

I fiddled with my tie and tried to focus my attention on the presentation I was giving to the staff about the changes I would like to make as their new owner. I tried my hardest not to even look at her because I know if I did I would get stuck within her eyes and I would be able to see the need there and how much she wanted me and I would not be able to stop myself from going over there picking her up and carrying her to my office and having my way with her.

Why did she still have that effect on me? After all these years she was still able to do that. I tried my hardest not to even glance her way so that I could finish my presentation.When she jolted from the room again while being asked a question, i didnt even make a fuss because truly i could no longer take seeing her. But I wasn't going to show her how weak I was and she was never going to know that I still loved her and that she still had an effect on me.
After the conference meeting I didn't even bother heading back to the office. I needed to get myself together before coming face to face with her again she needed to see that I had moved on from her and I wanted her to rue the day she left me.

That week was one of the hardest weeks I ever had. It broke my heart to see the little tears she dropped when I treated her like crap, but she could never know how I still felt about her, she needed to feel the pain i felt when she left me.

While my facade was on, I shouted commands at her, I ignored her presence and when she finally confronted me about everything I was so engulfed in my rage that I ended up telling her to get the fuck out of my office.

What type of person did I lead her to believe I was? I tried to apologize when I called her on her phone line but she did not want hear it. Of course I was mad at her and that's why I treated her the way I did. Hell I was even more angry at her after she showed her every curve in one of our board meetings the other day, I only had to glance at her for my member to raise and I didn't like how all the other men in the room salivated over her like hungry dogs craving a good piece of steak. I confronted her she brushed me off.

At one point I even saw her coming out of the men's rest room with another employer, applying her lip stick. Lord knows it killed me to even think that her full luscious lips were kissing lips that were not mine or sucking a member that was not a part of my body. It turned my stomach to even think about it.

I pushed her against the wall when she came out of the building confronting her, hoping that she did nothing with that man in the bathroom, but she eventually got out of my grip and stormed away. Which raged me even more, couldn't she see that I still wanted her that I still needed her. I mean yes I tried to contain me feelings for her because I wanted her to regret leaving me. But I just couldnt take it any longer I had to have her.

It's been less than two weeks and I get hard at the thought of her. I must have slept an hour each night because I was excessively thinking about her and how she felt in my arms in how she yelled when I made her release over and over again.

It's been six years but my memories of our lovemaking were still vividly clear. I just need to have her once more and that should satisfy my needs. If she thinks she's going to be "strictly professional" with me she has it all wrong. I was going to have her and she was going to enjoy it.