I Hate That I Love You

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A few days after me admitting my feelings to Daryl, I am scavenging when I hear a stick snap. Spinning around to face the sound, I see Daryl with his crossbow. "Shit! You scared me, Daryl."

"Sorry, I just came to warn you. The Saviors raided our camp. There's nothing left. And they left this." He hands me a peice of paper.

Taking it from his hands I unfold it carefully. It says,

"We got to get moving

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"We got to get moving. Judging by this, they are still looking and they know we were here. They could still be in the area. Come on." I take Daryl's hand and start walking I the woods, my senses on high alert. I hear whistling and we dash through the woods, leaping over branches, and ducking under branches. The whistling is getting closer and I begin to panic. I don't want Daryl hurt.

Thinking quickly I say, "Daryl. You have to go on without me. Maybe even make it back to Alexandria. I am going to distract him. I love you."

I turn and run the other way, screaming, "Okay, you motherfucker! Come and get me!" I run through the trees making as much noise as possible, to get him to follow me. My plan works. I hear his footsteps coming after me and I continue to torment him. "You think you're so big and bad?! Then come and prove it, you pussy! Come and show me how bad you can be!" I run even faster and hear his shouts. I make a quick turn right and taunt him some more, "Hey Negan! If you're so big and bad then why haven't ya shown me? You wanna know why I think it is? It thinks its cuz you ain't got the balls!"

I hear his angry growl and him hollering, "Once you quit running, I'll show you just how deeply wrong you are. You will find out I do have balls and that they are made of steel." I laugh loudly.

"In your dreams. Come and get me, asshole!" When I don't hear him reply or his footsteps, I slow down thinking I lost him.

Suddenly I'm grabbed and yanked against a hard body. I scream and a large hand covers my mouth.

I hear heavy breathing and Negan's voice next to my ear, "I hope you got your shitting pants on because you are about to shit your fucking pants. You are going to fucking regret crossing me. Fuck yeah, you are."

I whimper, for the first time since meeting him feeling genuine fear. Tears start slipping from my face as I worry what might happen. He isn't going to want to play nice after what I pulled. And strangely, I feel bad.

"Do you think those fucking crocodile tears are going to change my fucking mind? Because, fucking newsflash, it isn't and it fucking won't. You made your fucking decision, princess, and now you're fucking going to fucking pay the fucking price." When he removes his hand, I start the diarrhea of the mouth.

"Negan I'm sorry...I shouldn't have done that or said those things...please don't hurt me...I'll do anything you want...just please dont hurt me or Daryl...I didn't mean to do any of it...please I-" He holds up his hand amused.

"I can't let that shit go fucking unpunished, now can I? That'd just make me look fucking bad. I can't promise that this won't hurt." He leans real close to my ear, and says, "I don't share. Once you're mine, nobody gets to look at, touch, or taste that sweet, fucking-hot-as-hell body of yours. Only me. And you, sweetheart, are mine, whether you admit it or not. You belong to me. Now." He claps hands together. "It's time for your punishment." Negan grabs my arm and says, "You can breathe, you can scream, you can cry, fuck you're going to be doing a whole lot of that."

I try one last final attempt at getting out of this. "Wait, wait." He raises his eyebrow, impatient. "I will be one of your wives as long as you don't do this... I will do what ever you want...just give me a chance to prove it!" He raises an eyebrow.

"Well, please do fucking humor me. Show me what you fucking got."

I nervously wrap my arms around his neck and slowly kiss him, nibbling his bottom lip, moving to his jaw, nipping his short beard. When he doesn't respond, I try harder. I press my whole body against his, desperately trying to get him to respond to my advances. But nothing works. "Please! Negan! I want to please you!" He rubs his beard and looks at me with that stupid grin. He's enjoying watching me squirm.

"Should have fucking thought about that before you went and fucking pissed me off."

I look down and then look back at him with fire in my eyes. "I don't know what it is you want from me! I said I was sorry, completely threw myself at you, and even begged, something I would never do for anyone! So I don't know who shoved the stick up your ass, but get over yourself! The least you could do for someone who maybe even has feelings for you, is treat them with the respect they deserve! I don't care that you think you're better than everyone but seriously, if you ever want me to respect you, you got to respect me! I just wanted you to understand my pain. You killed my boyfriend and when I went to date someone else, you beat them up too! I hate that I love you! You're supposed to be my enemy, not someone I think about consantly! Its not fair that you get to have hundreds of wives but once one of them gets lonely and they find comfort in the ones they love, you iron that person's face! That you beat them to a pulp! This is why I will never listen to you! You're a sexist pig! I don't even want to love you! So until you learn some respect, I will never bend your way!" After my tirade, I storm off, leaving a shocked Negan.

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