Empty Desire

Chapter 03

*flashback to 2 hours before party*

"Come on Yuta we need to set up the games for tonight," Johnny said while placing food for the party out on the table. Johnny was always the type of person to be ready for an event, even 2 hours before it starts.

"Why don't you ask Taeil to help you? It was his idea after all." Yuta sighed while sitting on the couch playing a game on his phone. He hated when the members threw parties, especially because Taeyong always blames him for the mess.

"Why? So you can go hang out with Winwin again?" Johnny smirked at Yuta and laughed while plopping down on the couch next to him. Yuta stared at Johnny with anger and frustration in his eyes.

"You don't know anything about us, besides, we don't even talk as much anymore," Yuta said with clear hurt in his voice.

"Well, maybe tonight you can change that," Johnny said as he got up from where he was sitting to resume preparing food and drinks for the party. 

Yuta sat there, still a little angry, but mostly heartbroken about the whole situation. He thought back to when he first had feelings for Winwin. He didn't quite know how it happened or how real most of those feelings were, but he knew he never wanted to hurt Winwin and he always wanted to be by his side. 

Maybe he will do what Johnny suggested and try to fix his mistakes, or maybe it's best just to leave Winwin alone and forget about his affection toward the boy he has loved for 2 years.

That night, while the party had finally started and the members were playing games and getting drunk, Yuta only had one or two shots of vodka and was getting tired of all the chaos going on around him. 

He looked around, observing the members and admiring their drunken state. He noticed Taeyong trying to get up from where he was sitting, but failing horribly. It was obvious he had too much to drink, but he looked determined to get up from that couch. When he did, he walked over to Ten, yelling his name, and that's when it happened. 

Yuta wasn't surprised by the kiss at all, it had been clear to everyone, except Ten, that Taeyong liked him in some way or another.

Yuta wished he could be that carefree with Winwin, but it has clearly ended for them, or so he thought. Maybe if he was drunk enough he would have the courage to talk to him and express his true feelings. Yuta considered for a moment what it would be like to hold him one last time, but of course, he could only do it if he were as drunk as Taeyong, so that's what he will do.

Yuta must have drunk about half a bottle of vodka and a few swigs of some other alcoholic beverage before spotting Winwin by the couch. He got up and walked over, trying to keep his balance while still making eye contact.

"Si-Cheeeng~" Yuta didn't know exactly what he was doing, but he was going to try his best to win over that boy if it's the last thing he will ever do.

"Yuta, your drunk and I think you've had enough for tonight," Winwin said as he took the half-empty bottle from Yuta's hand, but Yuta wasn't about to give up that easily.

"And I think you don't know how to have fun." Yuta took hold of Winwin's arm and dragged him to his room, ignoring everything and everyone in his way. All he wanted right now was Winwin and nothing else and he was going to get his way no matter what.

"Yuta stop you don't know what you're doing. You're too drunk." Winwin was obviously struggling to break free from his grip but failed. Yuta slammed the door behind them and pushed Winwin onto the bed, causing him to drop the bottle he previously took from Yuta.

"Yuta sto-" Winwin couldn't muster up the strength to finish his sentence. His words were broken up as he was being pinned to the bed, staring at Yuta who was now on top of him. He knew where this was going, but as much as he tried to hate it, he wanted it even more. 

Yuta's face came closer to the blushing boy beneath him. Winwin was thinking of what to do, but he knew nothing could stop a drunk Yuta from getting what he wants. 

He shifted as Yuta's breath crept closer and closer until their noses were touching. Winwin tried to think of something to say because the silence was killing him, but he froze as Yuta's lips pressed against his. 

At first, he wanted to push away from the kiss and bury his face into the pillow, but he missed the feeling of being like this with Yuta, so he let it happen.

Yuta pulled away from Winwin's lips and started to plant kisses down his neck. His hands moved down to the bottom of the younger boy's shirt, slowly lifting it up. 

Yuta could feel Winwin's heart beat faster and faster as he got closer to his belt. He stopped and looked at the flustered boy beneath him. He found it funny how Winwin tried to resist this and now look at him, completely helpless and submissive.

He rolled off of Winwin and onto the messy bed, pulling the blankets over him and laying his head on the pillow.

"W-why did you stop?" Winwin sat up and looked at Yuta who was tucked into bed.

"Why does it matter? I thought you didn't like me anymore." Yuta teased.

"You're right, I don't!" Winwin crossed his arms and looked away in frustration. It was almost unbearable how much he loved and hated what Yuta did to him, but he would never tell him that.

"That's funny because you seem to enjoy when I'm on top of you," Yuta smirked and held back laughter as Winwin threw a pillow at him.

"Shut up!" Winwin's face turned bright red as he angrily got into bed with his back facing Yuta.

"Goodnight," Yuta said with a big grin.

*end of flashback*

Winwin wakes up just in time to hear Taeyong rounding up all the members like he usually does when no one pays attention to the time.

"Hurry up! We're going to be late! Yuta and Winwin that applies to you too!"

He laughed at how impatient the leader is, forgetting that he can be the same way. He looks over at the clock to see that dance practice starts soon.

"I'm not kidding you two let's go!" Taeyong sounded anxious, but this happens to him before every practice.

Winwin thought he had better wake Yuta before Taeyong marches in here and--Winwin was disrupted by a loud knocking at the door followed by the stomping of footsteps walking away in a hurry. He decided to ignore it knowing it was just his agitated leader wanting to leave.

"Yuta!.... Wake up, we have practice soon!" Winwin pushes around Yuta's sleeping body until he opens his tired eyes which still have bags under them from the night before.

"Alright I'm awake...now go away," Yuta practically rolls off of the bed and stands up to stretch.

"You would think with how much you sleep that you wouldn't give me so much trouble every time I go to wake you, but I guess not," Winwin said while crossing his arms and watching Yuta struggle to get on his socks.

"Do you ever do anything besides complain?" Yuta muttered as he put his phone in his pocket and walk out of the room towards the other members who were waiting to go. 

Winwin decided it would be best not to say anything, so he followed Yuta out into the living room where everyone was putting on shoes and heading out the door for yet another day of practice.