Reaching Troye Δ Troyler AU

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// prologue //

{ troye } 

Being around him is like nothing I've ever known. He breathes life into me, causes me to be more outgoing, makes me crazier. He brings light into my otherwise boring life. He makes things fun. He makes things worthwhile. He gives meaning to my life. But how do I tell him that? 

         See, Tyler Oakley is a flame. He has a fire inside him that refuses to die, no matter who tries to put it out. It makes him who he is: outgoing, fun, charismatic, beautiful, crazy, different; He's the greatest fire that I have ever known. But...then there's me: boring, plain, weird, annoying; I'm simply the smoke that comes after the fire. I'm the end of the show, the dying of the light, the aftermath. And that's okay by me. 

Except maybe if I were more exciting and fun Tyler would feel the way I do about him. I want for him to find an infatuation in me that's stronger than anything he's ever felt, Like I have in him. But..I know it's not true, I know he doesn't feel that way. And I can't blame him. No one would ever feel that way about me. Ever. 

         And now I'm heading to L.A, for Vidcon, and also to visit everybody. I'll be there for nearly three weeks. How am I going to keep my interest in the one person I can't acquire a secret? Will I be able to act normal? 

Only time will tell. 

[ tyler ] 

         I can't help myself. 

When I think of him my heart beats crazy in my chest, my stomach flips, it feels like I've swallowed the stars. But I won't ever tell him. 

         Because, see, Troye Sivan is an ocean. He has worlds inside of him, spreading far and wide, that no one's ever seen. It makes him who he is: interesting, deep, hilarious, beautiful, shy, unaware of his own beauty and potential; he is an ocean, full of mysterious secrets and gorgeous discoveries just waiting to be uncovered. And then there's me: loud, obnoxious, childish, bland; I'm like the desert, nothing to offer but endless miles of sand. 

Maybe if I were different, Troye would feel the same. But I can't hold it against him that he doesn't... I can't think of one person who would look at me the way I look at Troye. Not a one. 

         And now he's coming to America, L.A, in two days...He's planning on staying for three weeks. How am I going to keep my crush for the unattainable Troye Sivan under wraps for three whole weeks? Hell, if I get one ounce of alcohol in me I'll be flirting it up with him and everyone will know. Will I be able to restrain myself? 

I guess we'll find out. 

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 crappy & short beginning but guess what? I don't care. I wanted to post it nOW because I feel like if I didn't I'd never do it. o.o 

        I'll have the first chapter up within the next two days mmkay my sweetums? c: 

thanks for reading yo