The Movie Theater

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You’re happy.


The sun is shining in a perfect, cloudless blue sky, the birds are singing peaceful tunes, everyone you meet is kind and gracious to you, and your friends are picking you up this evening to take you to that movie you’ve been wanting to see.

But that’s not why you’re happy.

As you are finishing applying your makeup, you hear the doorbell ring. You joyfully make your way down the stairs and open the door to see your friends, and they take you to the movies.

While at the concession stand, you and your group buy lots of popcorn, candy, and drinks, and go into the movie theatre and up the lit stairs, where you find a row and take your seats, excited for the movie.

The popcorn, candy and soda was delicious. You have finished your buttery popcorn and your Sweet Tarts when it happens. You don’t notice it, but it’s there.

A little black elliptical dot in the top right-hand corner of the screen flashes for a split second.

Most people don’t notice it, but some do, and they usually assume it’s a glitch that occurred with the projection. But it’s not a glitch. It happens in every single movie that has ever been in theatres.

The truth of this strange little dot is that it is a device used by unknown beings that control your mind. The first few movies you’ve seen, you probably noticed it. But as time passed, it slipped your vision, along with several other details and fragments of your life.

And now I reveal the true origin of your happiness. Was it the perfect weather? No. Was it the kindness everyone had towards you? No. Was it the movie’s intriguing plot? NO.

It’s the refreshments you got from the concession stand.

The popcorn, the candy, the soda, everything is made by the same entities that want to control your mind and loosen your grip on reality. Special chemicals, masked by the flavors, are embedded within the foods that you love most– not just in the movie theatres, but in restaurants, shopping malls, and even the checkout at Wal-Mart–and these chemicals have the same properties of Xanax but without the side effects. Basically, they make you view the world as a happy place, a joyful place, while you are slowly being driven insane.

It starts out mild, you fail to see the occasional detail in a story or a movie. Gradually, it gets worse. Larger fragments disappear, and eventually, you overlook entire paragraphs, and pages of a book become plain white. I won’t tell you what happens after, y u will j    H     o   f g   e
for       e

YOU ARE HAPPY

THE WORLD IS HAPPY

HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY

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