quiet mutterings in crowded halls,
silent glares watching me breathe
no place to stand to be alone,
no space to not be seen.
beady eyes in well-lit rooms,
dark stares seeing me fall
into countless pits of despair,
into careless voids where i don't stand tall.
they see me as a kind, sweet girl,
a tall, fat creature they can joke about.
i see myself as a tall, fat creature that can't hide,
but my opinion doesn't matter; my voice doesn't count.
i stand tall, firm, like an emotionless skyscraper
who can't enjoy the clouds it sees or adore the small trees
it surpasses, because i can't care and i can't feel
and i can't have the room to breathe.
no one defends me because they fail to see
the brokenness of my soul, my shattered bones and heart.
they can never seem to notice the real me,
the person they have torn apart.
one or two pretend to see me as i am.
i pretend to show them the dark parts of my mind.
they say that they care, that they will never leave,
but they did; they left the real me behind.
if only love was real enough for us all.
maybe we'd all have the strength to stand high.
but perhaps that idealization of love
will force us all to stand in a dark, saddening sky.
no one in this dark place would love me.
in this hall, with silent glares and quiet eyes.
the darkness that overwhelms us, the hatred that seeps into us,
will prevent us from becoming skyscrapers, clouds in the sky.
love could bind us together,
but it can tear us in two.
we wish we could tell each other these things in person,
but in fear, we never say, "I love you."
YOU ARE READING
Won't Go Out
Poetry》 an excerpt from "homebound"《 walking through streets made of gold, my heart's pounding in my chest. everything keeps me awake as I wait for my final test. i'm running through the red lights to feel your face again, to see the home in your eyes, t...
