Alternate Universes

Leave me.

"Leave them and join me." You said as we crossed paths at the backstage of the concert hall.

"They're not for you. They're a normal choir. We are better. Why did you leave? Why did you leave me?"

I couldn't bring myself to tell you why I left, for fear of coming across as an idiot, an idiot who selfishly pursued her own happiness and curiosity of the choral music out there, challenging repertoire I'd like to take on to give myself a push.

But here we are, at the concert hall, with your eyes twinkling with pain and words so taunting, enticing, sorrowful.

"I treasured you. I gave you a chance. I recognised your talent and your potential since you were 13. How could you leave me?" My heart broke as I saw the pain in your eyes, genuine pain of loss.

"Tell me why. Tell me exactly why you left. I'm not the same without you." How could I bring this poor tattered heart to hurt you with my weapon of words?

"I can't. I love you. I'm sorry."

"Did you even consider how much pain I would feel when you left? How much I thought about how I could have made you stay? To stay with me for a little more?" You sighed as you turned around, looking at the seemingly endless backstage hallway.

How could I say that I left because I felt that I didn't belong?

"I did. But I thought you would understand why I left."

"I do. But I can't bring myself to lose you to them. What did I do? Where did I go wrong?" You whispered, almost inaudible.

My aching heart swelled with pain for you, the man I dearly looked up to when I was 13; the man who picked me up, dusted me off, and gave endless support and encouragement through my growing years; the man I've continued (and will continue to) love.

"You didn't go wrong. I did. I chose this path, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry I wasn't good enough a singer to continue singing with you, I'm sorry I couldn't make you understand."

"Come back to me again once you're ready. I love you." You said, with a face full of regret and pain, and embraced me so gently and lovingly - and all of a sudden all these memories I had with you came rushing into my head like a broken movie projector since the day I joined you and we fused as one in music. 

I couldn't handle the overwhelming wave of emotions I felt: happiness, sadness, joy, sorrow, regret, pain, fear. Them? Us? For the love of music?

"I love you."

The tears that formed in my eyes as the many memories screened past me fell like little dewdrops on the first morning of spring.