Happy ❀ »K.NJ + K.SJ«

07: 대치 (The Confrontation)

A few days go by, and thankfully, Yoongi has been watching Hoseok while Jin's at work. Namjoon still hasn't been around, and no one's heard from him. Jin's worried, but Jungkook and Yoongi aren't.

"Namjoon-hyung does shit like this all the time," Yoongi informs his hyung. Jin is slightly puzzled and Yoongi continues. "He sometimes will disappear for days, weeks at a time. But it's not like we don't know where he goes or what he's doing. He goes to many different places - Busan, Daegu, Gwangju, you name it - and sometimes he picks up guys, sometimes he's doing underground rap battles, or sometimes he's just taking a break from everything, and while he's gone, he rarely, if ever, speaks to anyone of us. There's a lot you don't know about Namjoon-hyung."

"He hasn't done it since before he met you, though," Jungkook says with a small smile, but then it falls slightly. "Maybe it's mostly because the last time he did, the guy he was with at the time hurt him really bad because Hyung really liked him. Or maybe it's because he hasn't felt the need to go anywhere until now."

Jin nods almost absentmindedly, and wonders if what he said really hurt Namjoon enough to drive him away.

He goes back to his apartment with Hoseok, puts him to bed and then sits down and thinks about it for a while. He wonders if he should call him, apologize, ask Namjoon to come back home, but he doesn't do anything.

He doesn't know what to feel anymore. Does he like Namjoon? Has he even known Namjoon long enough to even be able to like him?

Does he even know Namjoon?

Jin comes to the sad realization that he knows almost next to nothing about him. He doesn't know his favorite color, his birthday, what he likes to do in his spare time, where he lives, how he feels about things.

Jin doesn't really know Namjoon at all.

Namjoon appears out of the blue on a hot afternoon two weeks later at Yoongi's apartment. Jin is in the bathroom when he shows up and he hears his voice. Jin wants so badly to go to him and tell him how sorry he is, tell him how much he's missed him, but he's afraid. His body is frozen like ice in front of the mirror, and he just can't make himself open the door.

Namjoon leaves quickly anyway. When Jin peeks through the window, he sees the boy with him, their arms wrapped around each other as they walk off. Jin sees the boy kiss Namjoon's cheek, sees Namjoon smile with that fucking dimple of his, and in that moment, Jin realizes that he should stop thinking about his feelings for Namjoon. He realizes it's time to give up, even if it's before he's even started.

He looks away sadly.

-

The following weeks drag on so slowly. Jin can't stop thinking about Namjoon and that boy, and he's both sad and angry about it even though he has no right to be. But he also can't stop thinking about how stupid he is for screwing everything up.

Maybe Jin is a little jealous. Maybe. He'd never admit it though.

It's always the same. Jin's at Yoongi's when Namjoon shows up, and he'll either hide in the bathroom or in Yoongi's room until Namjoon and the boy leave. Or Jin will be at home with Hoseok when there's a knock at the door, and sometimes Jin doesn't check– just locks the door and hides.

It's childish, he knows, running away from his problems, from Namjoon, but it's what he plans to do until everything is over.

Namjoon looks happy now– well, happier, anyways, Jin notes as Namjoon leaves. Jin doesn't want to ruin that. Not again.

Never again.

It's extremely fucking hot outside on this Saturday afternoon. Jin's on his break, sipping on a vanilla milkshake as he sits atop a pink barstool. Mina is snacking on some fries and Chaewon is fanning herself and complaining about the weather with the other girl, Soomin, who looks like she is going to pass out.