Leaving you (Book Three)

Leaving you (Ch;27)

This chapter is Zendaya thinking. Trust me it leads up to the last chapter ♥

-♥

It was always cold here. No matter where we went, it was freezing. Not that is was a bad thing because I do love cold weather. It's just that.. Kass and Jay hugged more and cuddled more. It kinda made me feel like a third wheel.. but I'd never tell them that. I'm not that brave to end what they have going. They were so happy.. I could see it everywhere we went. It's been a week since Val called and it's still fresh on my mind.

The first day, I moped around.. I did get around to take that shower but I felt achy and sassy. I layed on the couch and watched sappy love movies while Kass and Jay went out to eat. Of course they offered but.. me being the lazy person I am said no. Plus they need time to themselves. I'm sick of being stuck up their asses all the time. Around nine I felt like shit, and I guess I fell asleep.

The next morning I felt like I was hit with three buses and someone jumped on my head. Turns out hanging out in the cold came with a price and I caught a pretty bad cold. My nose ached and my head was full of pain. Most of the day everything was foggy and I only remember little points of the day, like when Jay and Kass brought me soup and drinks. Or when Kass layed with me and watched ANTM. That day I was getting better.

The next day I felt like I could walk around so I did, even though I was still achy it felt good to just get up and take care of myself. Of course mother gooses flocked around me.. but I felt better. That didn't mean I forgot about Val, even though I wished I did. He was always bothering me in my dreams and in real life. That day I sat on the couch and talked with them. I got caught up on reading and eating. I felt okay by night, and for once I fell asleep without any ache.

The next day I felt refreshed, until I puked and layed back down for awhile. My boss texted me, and alerted me I was leaving for Cali in four days, which meant, Val and Lilly. Even thinking about that it made me feel even sicker. Facing the world made me feel sick.. and I didn't know why. So that day I got up and got dressed, went out to by some food. Came home and ate then passed out right before eleven. 

Then there is today, where I feel eighty percent okay, only a minor headache.. but I'm keeping my mouth shut so I don't get questioned. Three days, and I can't believe it. Time has really gone by fast, and being sick didn't help. Shit, it made this so much worse. To top it off, I'm starting to remember things. It's scary.. because I'm afraid what I find.. I'll think i'm a different person. I don't want that for myself or for anyone else. Because in the end I'm the end I'm the same Zendaya, and I just want people to understand that.

Sadly, life isn't what I want it to be.. and people judge you everyday. Being famous just makes it so much worse.  So today all I really do is sit around, and eat. Kass and Jay are gone once again leaving me alone to this big empty house they bought. Why buy a house if your never even here? I find myself watching Adventure time, laying down as the theme song starts to play. My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I sigh. Its a unknown caller, but I still answer it. "Hello?" I yawn, feeling my muscles pop.

"Did he call you?" Lilly's voice says, sharp as ever. "Did who call?" I question my anger rising. "Val who else!" She yells into the phone, making me snap my head back. "Why would he call?" I question once again. "I don't know ! that's why i'm asking if  he called" She growls out. Then it hits me, hard. He did call, and now I remember.. all I am thinking right now is. 'LieLieLie' so I do. "No I called him". It tastes weird coming out of my mouth but she believes it. "Why?" She yells. "I missed him okay.. It won't happen again". "It better not, that's my husband and he doesn't need trash trying to get with him". she says bitterly.

"I'm trash.. wow. That sounds fucking fantastic coming from you" I counter. "Oh really why?" She mocks. "When we were dating.. you had sex with him. Your a slut.. and if it wasn't for you.. we'd be together.. and it would be me getting married. If you could of keeped your legs closed you woudln't be where you are right now.. and that's just the truth". I can hear her breathing hard, I know I've won this fight.

"Then you didn't even feel bad. You made him feel guilty, so If you really think about it. He is with you because of his guilt. Imagine this, you tow are together for three years, me and him fuck.. then I am having his baby how would you feel?" I question. "I'd be really pissed off" She finally says and I cracked her.

"Exactly, so before you try to degrade me.. think about yourself first. You did something so horrible I don't know why I spend my time trying to explain this to you. You don't even deserve my time, and you know this. Your a fucking slut that will sleep with anything.. I bet even with Jay. So next time you call and try to question me like the fucking police.. I won't answer. I don't have time for people who don't have time for me". I hang up quickly, feeling my chest rise an fall.

I turn back to the T.V and try to refocus. It's hard and I didn't think I would feel this bad. It felt great to tell her, don't get me wrong .. but at the end of the day she had him and I didn't. There was nothing I could do to change that, and it hurt. Now out of all times I wish I got my memory back, because.. If I knew everything we been through.. this would be alot easier.

I close my eyes and let Jake's voice lull me to sleep. Hoping when I wake up all the pain will be gone.

----Song; Half A Heart -One Direction ♥

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